


Shared Dorms, Gay Panic, and Other Related Bullshit

by small_sad_gay



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Despair Enoshima Junko, Original Character(s), Out of Character, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-07-19 23:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19982494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/small_sad_gay/pseuds/small_sad_gay
Summary: A non-despair AU with shared dorms. Kyoko is really emotional but only because the story is told through her perspective. There are a lot of crackships and weird friendships, but I like to think they make sense within the story. Trigger warning for eating disorders, abuse, and rape. Warning, there's an OC. The best part of this whole fanfic is when Kyoko watches tik toks and cries.





	1. Kyoko Kirigiri, and her Dumbass Roommate: Chapter 0

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is a sort of... chapter zero thing. It's not really canon to the story, but I thought it was an okay character introduction, so i kept it.

“I'm serious Toko, you have to stop obsessing over Byakuya”  
Even with that one sentence, it wasn't hard to understand what was going on.  
Although we've told her again and again that it's pointless and her attempts have only proven us right, she was still trying to end Toko's toxic and one-sided infatuation with Byakuya.  
“I'm t-telling you, it's d-different when we're a-alone!”  
“Yeah, I bet it is. I bet he spits on you instead of shit-talking you”  
“To have m-master spit on me... would be a d-dream come t-true”  
“Toko that's really weird”  
“Y-you don't understand me and m-master's l-love!”  
At this, Toko stormed off leaving Gabi looking more frustrated and hopeless than she normally did.  
“Why the fuck can't she just get over him already”  
I barely heard her mumble before she noticed me.  
“Hey Kyoko, do you have the key to our room? I gave Sayaka mine”  
I turned the corner and walked towards my roommate, with an affirming nod I handed her my room key.  
“What did Sayaka need your key for?” I asked, hoping for a decent reason.  
“I thought she should have some way to let herself in if she needs emotional support and I'm asleep or something.”  
I did not get the kind of answer I wanted.  
“Couldn't you have told her to ring the doorbell?”  
“What if I sleep through it?”  
“What if she just walks in and takes stuff.”  
“Sayaka wouldn't do that. She's really not the snake everyone makes her out to be.”  
“I know Gabi, I'm friends with her too.”  
“Ah, right.”  
As she opened the door to our shared room, the first thing I noticed was the large pair of scissors lain out on her bed.  
“Did Syo leave her scissors in your bed?”  
“Aw shit probably, let's go bring them to her!” Gabi gave me a look that strongly hinted that she wouldn't want to be seeing Toko alone right now.  
“I suppose I have to. You're going to have to do the talking though.”  
As we picked up the various other pairs strewn about the floor, I began to worry about my friend.  
“I can't believe you're actually friends with her.”  
“Who, Syo? I mean, it's a little hard to be friends with Toko and not her alter.”  
“That doesn't mean you can't do it. Makoto does it.”  
“Yeah well, Makoto also lets demons into his room.”  
“Byakuya isn't a demon.”  
“Sure he is! He screamed when I threw salt at him!”  
“That's because he's a neat freak.”  
“And a demon!”  
This girl does not give up.  
“I'm just worried about you. Being friends with a legitimate serial killer can't be the safest thing on earth.”  
“I mean, I am the Ultimate Social Butterfly. What do you expect?”  
“I expect you to at least put your health before the prospect of making a new friend.”  
“I'm going to be fine Kyoko, but I promise if anything happens, I'll tell you. Okay?”  
“You better.”  
With a soft giggle we finished picking up Syo's scissors and headed to her room.  
As we walked I couldn't help but take a look at the scissors we were carrying. Between the two of us, there were about 16 pairs assuming we'd gotten them all. The scissors themselves appeared to be hairdressing scissors. Ironic, considering both Toko and Syo's braids were at least thigh length. They were sliver and had a good weight to them.  
I would have kept looking into their design had Toko's room not been just a few doors down from ours.  
“Do you hear that?” I heard my roommate say, as she stopped in front of Toko and Sayaka's room.  
I pressed my ear to the door and listened closely.  
I could hear two voices, a man and a woman, judging by the stutter, the woman was most likely Toko.  
“I p-promise, I'll do better next time, just p-please, give me one more chance!”  
“I've given you plenty of opportunities to prove yourself more useful than the filthy animal you are, but at this point a lowly pig would be of more use than you.”  
“For m-master to compare me to a p-pig... I've never been so aroused!”  
“You disgusting bitch. Why don't you accept the pain you so badly want.”  
The latter half of who I could only assume was Byakuya's statement was nothing more than a whisper, followed by a heavy thud, and a screech of pain.

~timeskip 2 months later~  
As we looked down at the casket, I couldn't help but wish we'd broken the door down the moment I'd heard them fighting. I knew Gabi felt the same as she wiped tears from her eyes. We were all silent until Makoto said the last sentence of that day.  
“I mean, we told her he was toxic.”


	2. Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and the Music Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our girls are music box nerds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, as a warning, when I first wrote this, I loved it. Reading it again now, it's cringy and terrible. Whatever hope you enjoy.

(As requested by Charlotte)  
“Hey Kyoko! I got more music boxes!” my roommate cried happily as I entered our dorm. She had been collecting music boxes since the beginning of our school life, and by now had well over 20.  
“Is that so?” I asked, trying to get her to talk more about them. Gabi and I had a shared affinity for music boxes and would often discuss the simple beauty of them, or as she called it, the aesthetic.  
“Yup! I don’t recognize any of the songs but they're really pretty!”, she beamed, as she began to look around the room for the silver bag she kept her collection in.  
With a glance here and there, she paused as if she had remembered something. “I almost forgot, I got you one too.”, she said taking a music box out of her pocket.  
“No it's okay, you can keep it.”, as much as the gesture delighted me, I couldn’t let her give away something so pretty, knowing that she loved them just as much as I did.  
“No really, I insist.” She insisted.  
“Gabi I just really-“ I was immediately cut off as she took my hands and placed a small metal rectangle between them.  
“This is for you Kyoko.” She said assertively, pushing my hands towards my chest. “I got it specifically with you in mind, so please, don't be so humble, and keep it.”  
“Th-thank you… I suppose.” I opened my hands and looked at the music box placed inside.  
The packaging said “Hymne À L'amour”, French for something I couldn't quit understand. The box itself was covered in little red and pink outlines of hearts, making for a love themed box. as I vaguely recall, amour is French for love.  
Knowing Gabi however, I knew it wasn’t necessarily romantic. She was constantly preaching the importance of having multiple words for love so that she could properly shower her friends with affection, without making them think she'd fallen for them.  
As I opened up the box a piece of paper fell out and landed in my waiting hand. “Commissioned for Kyoko Kirigiri”. My brow furrowed. I didn't know how to take it. Gabi hadn't told me she'd gotten it specifically commissioned for me, but at the same time, it was incredibly sweet.  
“Do you not like it?” she asked apprehensively.  
“No that’s not it… It's incredibly kind of you to do something like this it's just…” I paused as my mind struggled to find the words to express how I felt. “Wasn't it expensive?” Was all I managed to say before realizing I was being rude.  
“I'm sorry, I'm flattered really, I'm just not very good at accepting gifts.” I apologized, full knowing I hadn't gotten my feelings across.  
“Don't worry about it! I got it because I really care about you and wanted to give you something I knew you liked, so don't think of it as me going out of my way to spend money on you, if it makes you feel any better you can pretend I found it on the street and thought of you!”, she said, smiling from ear to ear.  
“Well don't just look at it, play it!”  
I began to turn the rod, and heard a melody I could only describe as a song for the purest type of love. It felt like reminiscing on times spent with a friend you've known for years. Afternoons spent in coffee shops after school, complaining about your least favourite subjects over an ice capp. It felt like running through golden fields as a little kid. It felt like hot air balloons, drifting above, flown with nothing but the pure love between two high school roommates, bonding over a niche interest in aesthetic machines. It sounded like a hymn of love.  
“I take it you like it then?”  
I couldn't help but smile at her.  
“It's the best thing I've ever received.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah also, Kyoko is weirdly out of character? Idk man, I wrote this as a comfort thing, I was just doing whatever felt nice. Also, I have this music box irl, it doesn't sound nearly as amazing as Kyoko thinks it does, but its still pretty cute. Also ik it's short, but it's exactly 666 words and I love it.


	3. Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and the Silver Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is weird lmao, some crazy shit happens. Gabi's a shit liar, Kyoko's scared of intensely vibrating things, a relationship happens,it's a wild ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so again, OOC Kyoko a little bit. Not as bad as usual, but still weirdly disturbed by vibrations.

Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and the Silver Bag

“Hey Gabi, has Junko seemed a little bit off to you lately?”, I was sitting on my bed, sifting through my homework when I asked. In all honesty, I was worried. Not only had the gyaru been acting strange lately, but Gabi had been as well.  
“What? No! Junko? Being weird? Kyoko did you hit your head searching the school for clues? Why would Junko, JUNKO of all people, be acting WEIRD???”, Gabi was skilled at many things, lying had never been one of those things.  
“Don't you think she's been a little nervous lately? Maybe even a little too... affectionate?” I prodded, giving her a bit of a suggestive look as I did.  
“Well uh, I mean... you know Junko, she's always been kind of um... flirtatious.” She said that last word very slowly, as if she wasn't sure it was the best word to use.  
I stared at her for a little bit, and just as I expected, her face lit up bright red.  
“N-NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW OR AN-NYTHING HAHA HA”, she was such a bad liar it hurt watching her try.  
“I know you're lying.” I told her.  
“No you don't! Um I mean... I'm not! And if I was you wouldn't be able to tell!” Her pride had always been important to her, so much so, that she would often expose herself just to try and spare it.  
“Mhm”  
“I am good at lying! Celeste told me so herself! And she's the queen of liars!”  
“You realize she was saying that as a joke, right?”  
“Aw man, really? Anyway, there's no way I could have known that!”, Gabi is autistic. Its very low level and you wouldn't know unless you were a specialist or she told you herself. It doesn't affect her very much, but she often can't tell when people are joking. It doesn't help that Celeste has an excellent poker face.  
“Anyway, what's going on with Junko, and why are you so intent on hiding it?” I got straight to the point, knowing that Gabi would only pull me further off track if I indulged her.  
“Okay so I was totally lying, but I really can't tell you.” This was a very intriguing response, although not uncommon, it always had some hot tea behind it.  
“Why not? You know I'm good with secrets, and you trust me, don't you?”, pretending to look hurt, I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and softened my last sentence.  
“Hey I may be bad at lying, but I can totally tell you're not serious right now!”, She had me there.  
“Okay, you got me, but what's up with Junko?”, One more try should do it. She always lets something slip after the third try or so.  
“Ugh I really wish I could tell you but she's not out yet. Oh my god did I say that out loud!? Goddammit I am terrible at keeping secrets!”, she was incredibly flustered and a little guilty looking as she said this, almost making me feel bad for forcing it out of her.  
“Oh?”  
Gabi immediately jumped off the bed she had been lying down on, across from me, almost like a physical attempt not to let me know anything else.  
I got up, walking towards her. “You don't have to tell me anything else if you don't want to, just know that you can always trust me with anything.” Placing my hand on her shoulder, I gave her a reassuring smile. I guess I was trying to apologize for manipulating her into outing Junko.  
“It's not your fault I guess, even if you totally manipulated me, it's my fault I let the information slip in the first place.” What? Now that's surprising. I had no idea she could tell that I manipulated her, but she also went along with it. This girl is an enigma.  
“Oh I'm sorry for that.”, Not long after I said that, something caught my eye. There was a silver bag on the floor that looked just like the one Gabi kept her music boxes in, except from what I could tell, the items inside were all the wrong shape.  
As I stepped closer, I gave it a little kick to try and make out what was inside. “Agh! What the fuck!?”, unfortunately, the moment my foot made contact with whatever was inside, the whole bag started vibrating intensely, to the point that it started moving towards me.  
“Ew fuck no, nuh-uh, that is fucking coming for my ass.”, I said as I started quickly backing away to the other side of the room.  
“Haha, what happened, did you see a spider or something?”, Gabi said this as if she were completely calm, although at the time she was climbing onto a dresser as we spoke, to escape this hypothetical spider.  
“Nope this fucking bag is vibrating and I don't like it.” Honestly I would be much more freaked out if it was a spider.  
“It's so cute how you can fully inspect a corpse without flinching but a vibrating silver bag makes you completely freak out. Wait hold on, vibrating silver bag? OH MY GOD KYOKO YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.”, Gabi very quickly became just as panicked as me, so naturally, I assumed it was a bomb.  
“YEAH AND YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE BAG IS SILVER.”, Quickly jumping onto a bed, I grabbed the closest thing I could find, which turned out to be Gabi's arm.  
Gabi quickly joined me on my bed, and held onto my waist. “Either that's a bomb planted by my enemies or it's a bag of sex toys.”  
“I'm placing my bets on the former.”, I said, moving my hands to her shoulders, pulling her into my chest.  
She gave my waist a squeeze, backed away, looked me dead in the eyes, and said the last thing I'd ever want to hear from her. “If I die here, will you promise me there'll be a mosh pit at my funeral?”  
“I'm not letting you die here, and you are absolutely not having a mosh pit at your funeral.”  
“Kyoko, I have to do this, for the both of us.”, ignoring my pleas, she hopped off my bed and walked towards the vibrating bag. Every step felt like torture. I couldn't bear to watch it anymore, so I closed my eyes. It was the most painful, nerve wracking 3 seconds of my life, but after what felt like hours, I finally heard something other than the loud vibrating.  
“Oh this is a bag of dildos.”, as I slowly opened my eyes, I saw my roommate holding the bag in question in one hand, and a hot pink vibrator in the other.  
As I opened my eyes, got off of my bed, and composed myself, I said the first thing that came to mind. “Is it yours?”  
“Wouldn't you like to know?~” she said playfully.  
“Well it's not mine.” I said, deflecting the blame off of me.  
“I know, It's Junko's.”  
“What, really?”  
“Yep. The whole bag.”  
“What was Junko's bag of dildos doing in our room, next to my bed.”  
“Oh she came over and we fucked.”  
“wHAT”  
“Yeah, that's what’s been up with her lately.”  
“Oh my god, tell me everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabi fucking gave up trying to lie. Yeah she outed Junko, yeah it's rude, but Kyoko's trust worthy, and Junko came out like, the next day anyway


	4. Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and Chamomile Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of stuff happens here lmao. Kyoko and Gabi get into an arguement about Kyoko's sexuality, Kyoko and Gabi get into an arguement about Kyoko being a bottom, and then wacky shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !WARNING! SEVERLY OUT OF CHARACTER KYOKO ALERT! In her defense, she's tired, shes being gayed at, and she's goin a little loopy from the stress of her life and general lack of sleep.

“Hey Kyoko, are you still up?”  
It was getting close to midnight when she said this. I, of course, was still awake. I often had trouble falling asleep, and tonight was no different. Rolling over to face her, I replied.  
“Yeah, you?”  
Emitting a soft giggle, Gabi raised her head and looked at me. “No. You're hallucinating.”  
I got up and sat on her bed as she gestured for me to come closer.  
“Scooch ur cooch.”  
I moved towards her and she put her head on my lap. Running my fingers through her hair I began to appreciate having someone like her in my life. She was the only person outside of my family who had ever seen me without my gloves, and she wasn't even disgusted by my scars.  
I remember the first time we really began opening up to each other she had told me about how she never knew her parents, and had always assumed she was an orphan. That same night I took off my gloves for her as she made jokes about her not even buying me dinner yet. Ironic, since we'd just come back from McDonalds where she'd paid for my food, which ended up being my dinner.  
I sat there, running my fingers through her hair and reminiscing on times we'd bonded together, until eventually she sat up.  
“Do you want some tea for your insomnia?”, she asked.  
Gabi would often give me tea when I couldn't sleep. It always helped me rest and we would often talk until the melatonin kicked in. Every now and then she would sit on the side of my bed and tell me stories about her childhood, as she played with my hair.  
As she put her head on my shoulder, I finally remembered I was supposed to respond. “Yes please.”  
She got up and turned on the lamp on our nightstand and began to look around for ingredients to make tea.  
When the headmaster, my father, decided that we should have bigger dorms, and share rooms, he also changed the dorm rules to let us buy more furniture to furnish our newly expanded rooms. Given that most of the students had high paying jobs or came from rich families, it didn’t take long for people to start bringing in stoves, sinks, and other kitchen appliances. The only downside to all this is that we had to pay for all of it ourselves. The appliances, the plumbing, the installation, and the delivery all cost quite a bit. Thankfully for me, I didn't have to deal with my dad asking about all the stuff I was buying, because Gabi refused to let me pay for any of it.  
On one hand, I felt bad for letting her pay for all of it, but on the other, I knew that I really couldn't get her to let me pay for anything, and she was knowingly sparing me a conversation with my father.  
As I listened to Gabi awkwardly clunking around the kitchen, I realized how often she stayed up to give me tea. How many nights must she have been making sure I fell asleep before she did, herself? How often had she been able to pick out when I was actively trying to sleep, but couldn't? How many teabags had she used on me already? I stopped myself from over thinking Gabi making me tea. There were still many nights that I lay awake restless, while listening to her soft breathing in the bed beside mine. The fact that she might have stayed up to count my breaths, making sure I was sleeping peacefully was incredibly kind of her, and I shouldn't feel bad for her being a selfless person. And besides, she doesn't even like tea, so it doesn't matter how much she gives me.  
After a while I heard her aggressively pull the kettle off the stove before it could start whistling, even though our rooms were all soundproof. As she walked over to me with a teacup in one hand, and a mason jar full of what I hoped was water and not vodka. As she gave me my tea we began to talk about all sorts of things.  
“So how are you and Junko?”  
“Oh you know, she's as cute as ever. We really bring out the worst in each other. Every time we hang out we're always really hyper and annoying. I usually feel bad for it a little bit for the baristas and random store workers who have to make sure we aren't breaking their stuff, but at the same time I'm having the fucking time of my life trying to keep up with Junko's crazy ass levels of ADHD.”  
“She does have a diagnosis and stuff, right?”  
“Oh yeah, Junko actually has a whole bunch of stuff. ADHD, mania, BPD, diagnosed clinical chronic depression, and probably some other stuff she just hasn't told me about.”  
“What's BPD?”  
“Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not really sure what it does, but I'm on my way to researching it.”  
Gabi's always had a huge interest in psychology. Lucky for her our class has two incredibly interesting people for anyone who's into psychology, being Junko Enoshima, and Toko Fukawa.  
“So what's she like as a person? I wouldn't know. We don't really ever talk to each other unless she's questioning my sexuality.”  
“And with good reason.”  
“Shut up.”  
“No u.”  
“Anyway, what's she like?” I actually did want to know about Junko. She's an incredibly interesting person just from the small amount of things I know about her.  
“Well she's really hyper for one thing. She seriously can't sit still and she's constantly stimming. Of course, you would know that just from being in class with her.”  
“Yeah haha, do you remember that one time she was tapping her nails on her desk and she just about drove Toko insane?”  
“Yeah oh my god. She was so mad about it and Junko was just like, “'Fix my ADHD then I'll stop.'” It was fuckin hilarious.”  
“Oh my god and the time Toko went on a rant about how pretty girls are right after she said she was straight and Junko leaned over and said “That isn't very heterosexual of you.” And the next day Toko came out as bi? Fucking legendary.”  
“You realize you sound just like Toko when it comes to that, right?”  
“Gobi everyone thinks Hina looks good in a swimsuit.”  
“That's because there are literally two straight people in our class and they're both boys.”  
“Excuse you I'm not a boy.” I took a sip of my tea for effect.  
“Yeah and you're not straight either.”  
I immediately started choking on my tea.  
“I aM a HeTeRoSeXuAl WoMaN.”  
“Because every straight girl is the first to join in Junko's all girl spin the bottle games.”  
“I can't believe no one thought she was bi earlier.”  
“Yeah god damn. This is like me and my “'I'm straight girls are just generally more attractive than guys.”  
“Wow, you really said that?”  
“Yep. First grade. I had myself all figured out.”  
“I just realized I've said something to that effect before.”  
“I'm straight girls are just really pretty?”  
“Yeah that's the one.”  
“You sure you're still straight?”  
“Yes.”  
I tried to look her seriously in the eyes but she turned her head and raised her eyebrows, making herself look like Mr. Bean.  
I snorted.  
“Okay, maybe not completely straight.” I said between giggles.  
“Great. Want a threesome?”  
“You realize the implications aren't the same given that we're both girls, right?”  
“It's fine. Junko and I can wear strap ons.”  
“I'm too much of a switch.”  
“Who are you trying to fool? Did you actually think you could pass for anything other than what you really are? A bottom?”  
As the chamomile kicked in, I began to say things that I normally would only think. I began to lose my filter.  
“If you're so convinced, why don't you come here and find out for yourself?” The moment I said it, I knew I was going to get more than I'd bargained for. Gabi too loses her filter when she's tired. More so than I, because I hide my feelings constantly, and compared to me, she was fucking exhausted.  
As she put down her mason jar and sat herself on my lap, straddling my legs and loosely wrapping her arms around my neck, she looked me in the eyes and said just one word, that would lead up to possibly the most life changing event I'd ever witnessed (other than the time Junko made Toko discover her bisexuality by giving her a mental breakdown in English class).  
“Consent?”  
I gulped, my heart was pounding and my lips were tingling. I barely mustered up the courage to say anything as my tired body became overwhelmed with the thought of a pretty girl proving I was a bottom. “Sure”  
She started to trace my jaw with her nail, causing my neck to tingle and my head feel fuzzy. She made her way to my cheek where she cupped her hand around my face and pulled me in.  
The first feeling of her soft lips on mine were enough to make my cheeks go bright red, as I'm sure she noticed, but the exciting feeling of her pushing her tongue into my mouth made my whole face light up, and surely made my chest flush red as well.  
It felt like forever but it couldn't have been more than a couple seconds.  
“Ha, bottom.”  
It took me a while but I barely managed to whisper out a soft “shut up.”  
“So? How'd I do?”  
“Well um, one thing's for sure.”  
“Spill.”  
“I am definitely not straight.”  
“Ah look at how far we've come!” she said, clapping her hands together. “Now you just have to admit you're a bottom too!”  
“I think I'm ready for bed now.” I said, suddenly feeling very tired.  
'Want me to join you?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.  
“Sure, just keep it PG.”  
“KYOKO!” She said, pushing my shoulder playfully, “I'm a married woman! I would never!”  
“You keep telling yourself that.”  
As I made myself comfortable in her bed, she got in next to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and put my head on her shoulder, firmly securing myself to her, as she put one arm around my shoulder, and ran the other through my hair. I began to feel my eyes go heavy as I nuzzled her breast. She giggled lightly, and removed her hand from my hair, to wrap around my back. It was a pleasant night. I'm happy she gave me that chamomile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, that scene where Kyoko says she's a switch and Gabi calls her a bottom was a real conversation between my lovely friends @ultimate.light and @sayo_heyo both on instagram!
> 
> In all honesty, Gabi's a disaster. Kyoko caught her disaster, and now everything is a disaster.
> 
> Dont worry, it ends well for them anyway


	5. Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and the Rest of Their Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about time the rest of the class is introduced. I've been wanting to write their class dynamic for a while. (Dedicated to my class)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sayaka and Junko are definitely the popular girls, you can't change my mind.

Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and the rest of their class  
As the bell signaled that class had started, we took our seats and prepared ourselves for the lesson to begin. I would say we were all settling down, if it weren't for two students at the back of the class spurring everyone else into conversation.  
Those two students were my roommate Gabi, and her girlfriend and partner in crime, Junko. The two of them were always talking in class, albeit for different reasons, but they spurred each other on nonetheless.  
The two were placed next to each other at the beginning of the year because they both had IEPs that required them to sit with their friends. The teachers saw that they got along well decided it was just meant to be, and placed them directly beside each other. This was quickly proven to be an awful idea, as Gabi and Junko unopposed create the most chaotic force known to man.  
After only a week they were moved to the back of the class and had Sayaka Maizono put between them as an attempt to keep them from talking. For a short time they were successful, but their victory was short lived as Sayaka just became part of their friend group.  
I looked over at them and listened in on their conversation. I figured it was okay to eavesdrop since pretty much our entire class did and at this point it was more of a joke than a serious offence.  
Sayaka's long blue hair shone in the fluorescent lights of the classroom as she and Gabi tried to keep up with the level of easily excitable energy Junko was giving off.  
I couldn't hear what was going on very well since I was on the side of the room closest to the windows, in the middle of the row, while they were in the very back in the center aisle.  
From what I could tell, Sayaka wasn't sure how healthy it was for them to be flirting with other girls while they dated, and claimed that she knew they both needed monogamy.  
“I'm not telling you guys how to live your lives, I'm just saying, you've both told me how much commitment matters to you and I'm not sure wandering around kissing other girls is going to help you much.”  
“I totally see what you're getting at”, Junko said, cutting in “But Toko kind of needs to be brought out of her shell y'know?”  
“Honestly, I think Toko would have come out even if you hadn't questioned her during English.” Sayaka hypothesized. “She had been saying all that week that she was sure girls were too attractive for her to be completely straight, and honestly, I think she would've come out like, a week later if you hadn't stepped in.”  
As Sayaka and Junko argued, Gabi didn't say a word, which was strangely out of character, given how much she loved debating.  
As Junko and Sayaka went back and forth, they eventually brought forth the topic of how Gabi felt on all this, causing her to pick her head up off her desk. She looked incredibly apprehensive. Knowing Gabi she was probably trying to figure out what to say so that both of her friends would be satisfied, and neither of them would be left feeling like they'd done something wrong.  
“I mean, I only kissed Kyoko that one time, and we're really only friends so…” She trailed off, looking at Sayaka and Junko while thinking what to say. “Sayaka is right about how I really need commitment and monogamy and stuff, but I know you're just trying to get Toko to explore her sexuality and stuff. Like, I know I can't really get mad at you for it, since I'm totally doing the same thing with Kyoko.” I stopped listening suddenly realizing the entire class was listening to Gabi talk about kissing me.  
I looked over at Toko who looked both embarrassed and disgusted. Given that she always looked disgusted it wasn't hard to tell what she was feeling. I looked over Leon, Sayaka's boyfriend, as he raised his hands in a way to show his innocence. “Hey man, I'm not kissing anyone other than my girlfriend!”  
Looking back at Sayaka I saw her blue eyes soften at the idea that her argument with Junko was making Gabi uncomfortable, and quickly dropped the conversation.  
Deciding that her girlfriend needed a little more affection, Junko gestured for Gabi to come sit on her lap just as the teacher walked in.  
Gabi, not caring, immediately walked over to Junko and sat down on her thighs. The teacher, seeing this, asked everyone to “please assume your assigned seats.”  
“Miss is that homophobicism?” Junko asked while wrapping her arms around her girlfriends waist.  
“It's only following the rules, and I do think you meant homophobia.” The teacher retorted, probably thinking she was being witty. Unfortunately for her, Junko had absolutely meant to say homophobicism, as it was an inside joke stemming from a poorly written Minecraft role play series.  
“Lmao no she meant to say homophobicism you're just not cool enough to get the reference.” Gabi responded, while wrapping her arms around Junko's neck.  
Giving up, the teacher began to teach her class only for Gabi to raise her hand. “Would you like to ask a question?” Gabi not having a last name often made it hard for teachers to properly address her.  
“Um yeah how do you spell igneous?”  
Gabi often made a game of asking teachers ridiculous or completely unrelated questions to take up time and see how long it would take for her to get kicked out. If we walked together after class she would tell me how many questions she asked before getting kicked out.  
“We aren't discussing Igneous rocks right now.”  
“Yeah but I forgot how to spell it.” She said, trying to make herself seem more stupid than obnoxious.  
“If you still can't remember how to spell it once we talk about it, I will tell you then.” The teacher replied, going back to her lesson.  
Unfortunately for the teacher, Gabi was only just getting started, and over the next few minutes she would ask as many questions as it took until she answered.  
Raising her hand again, Gabi asked another question, this time, more on topic with what we were currently being taught. “So, I know 2+2= window but does the answer change on Wednesdays? And if so what colour would the answer be?”  
I was already familiar with the questions she started off with, so I began to look around the room.  
At the desk directly next to me sat Celestia Ludenberg, an interesting girl with a long history of gambling. Celeste had been invited to the school as “The Ultimate Gambler” and her title did not lie, given that she had played countless matches against incredibly formidable opponents, and had never lost a single one.  
She was an avid fan of gothic lolita fashion, to the point where she refused to wear her school uniform. Instead, she wore a black blazer, with sleeves that widened after her elbow and ended in a high quality lace. Underneath her blazer she wore a simple white button up, and a red tie, with an intricate black design on it. She also wore a very poofy, three layer skirt that only went down to her knees and again, was laced with a high quality lace she must have commissioned herself. Her hair was tied into two very long drill type ponytails, tied with white ribbons. She gave off the air of a porcelain doll, with her pale skin and black and white clothes. Her blood red eyes added to her intimidating nature.  
She seemed to be playing solitaire, as the cards laid out on her desk were almost falling off the table.  
“I've always hated how small these desks are.”, she spoke in a presumably fake French accent as she turned to look at me. “Would you like to play a round of poker with me?”  
I knew better than to try and challenge Celeste, but class was boring and Celeste always provided good conversation.  
“Okay. Just go easy on me.”  
“Poker is a game of chance darling, I can't go easy on you.” Celeste said with a sweet smile.  
Halfway through our game Gabi got kicked out if class. I knew I should have been worried about her grades but all I could think about was talking to her after class and letting her brag to me about the amount of questions she was able to get in.  
“Kyoko,”, I was brought out of my daydreaming by Celeste's soft voice. “It would be best if you didn't lose focus, given that the game is not going in your favour.”  
She wasn't wrong. I was losing by a landslide, but it wasn't like I'd taken up her offer expecting to win. Plus, Celeste had an amazing poker face. Even I could never tell what she was thinking, which just added to her porcelain doll aesthetic.  
It wasn't long after that when she won the game. I hadn't really been concentrating, and although it couldn't have made much of a difference, she seemed to have picked up on it.  
“Kyoko, tell me, is something bothering you?” I'm not sure why she wanted to know, given that she wasn't especially kind to most people, but she did seem to like me a little more than the others.  
“No not really. There's just something on my mind.” I could see the interest in her eyes, but before she got the chance to ask about it I shot her down. “I don't feel like talking about it.”  
“Ah, I see.” I could tell she was a little disappointed. Much like myself, Celeste was always interested in hearing a good story. “I know you probably won't take me up on my offer, but if there's ever anything you would like to talk about, you can always come to me.”  
I actually wasn't expecting her to say something like that. Celeste always came off as cold and uncaring for the people around her, but I guess I'll have to change my idea of her now.  
“Thank you, that's very nice of you.” Her eyes lit up slightly when I thanked her, even though it was just courtesy for me I guessed it meant much more for her. “I might take up on your offer sometime.”  
“Well you're always welcome to my room. Being the only person who still has a room to herself it can get lonely.” Since there was an uneven number of students, it was only natural that one would be left out. Sayaka, Toko, and Celeste had been the last three to pick roommates. Sayaka had felt bad for Toko, and because of that she asked her if she wanted to room with her. Not having any other options Toko begrudgingly accepted and the two became unlikely friends.  
As the bell rang again, signalling the end of class and start of lunch, I helped Celeste put away her cards. She offered to eat lunch with me in her room and I gladly took up her offer. Celeste was an interesting person, and talking with her always led to a new pay off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay Kyoko, be gay at the gambler, not your roommate, okay? 
> 
> Aw shit she didn't hear me


	6. Kyoko Kirigiri, and her Dumbass Roommate, Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kyoko has a whole ass breakdown, and does a ton of crying. It's all cool though, she gets over it eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter, I hate it so much that I stopped writing it for days inbetween because it sucked to write. I write these as a comfort thing, not something to make me feel bad god dammit >:(

Kyoko Kirigiri and her Dumbass Roommate, Alone  
After lunch I didn't see Gabi for a while. I don't think she was avoiding me, we just didn't talk after class. We got back to class at different times so she didn't greet me in the halls either. I knew I had no reason, since she was in the same room as me, but I missed her.  
Class dragged on. I could tell Celeste was worried about me, but she never said anything about it.  
Lunch with her had been very enjoyable. Although we didn't have much in common, we seemed to be able to find things to talk about nonetheless. All had been going well until the question of my sexuality had been brought up.  
I knew Celeste was a lesbian. I'd seen her sit in the gay corner with Gabi and Hina more than a few times. At this point in my life, all I knew was that I wasn't straight. When I told Celeste that I only knew I liked girls and boys she just about gave me and essay on trying to figure out your sexuality when you're attracted to more than one gender.  
She'd brought up how much respect she had for bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals, etc. Because it probably took work to figure out who they were, while lesbians just needed to know that they liked girls and not boys to pinpoint their orientation. That was when I heard possibly one of the most disappointing things in my life.  
“Although I do respect people attracted to more than one gender, I really respect those whose sexual and romantic orientation are different.”  
“Can you elaborate?”  
“Oh? I'm surprised you don't know what that is. Gabi is one of those people after all.”  
That was the first time I learned Gabi had told someone something like that about herself to someone other than me first. It was ridiculous but I felt betrayed.  
I was being too dramatic, I had to let it go. Just because I didn't know the ins and outs of Gabi's sexual orientation didn't mean we were any less friends. Celeste may have that over me but Gabi's seen my hands. There is no was we weren't close.  
I spent the rest of the day over thinking every interaction I'd ever had with Gabi, then calming myself down with what had clearly happened.  
Gabi didn't think it was important to tell me, so it probably wasn't. I wasn't a terrible friend, our friendship just didn't hinge on sexuality. She knew I liked girls before I did, not because she liked me, but because it's obvious. It does not matter how much tea she makes for me, she buys the tea because I like it. I am not making Gabi broke, her Pokémon addiction is.  
When class finally ended, I expected to go back to my dorm alone, but Gabi left her friends to walk with me. Without fully knowing it, I unconsciously began to drift closer to her, until we'd gone from walking on opposite sides of the hall to right next to each other.  
Our silence was comfortable, and I didn't feel the need to break it, so she did for me.  
“23” was all she said. I instantly knew what she was talking about. She had gotten to ask 23 questions today before getting kicked out.  
“That's a lot more than usual, do you think you're getting better?” I asked. I liked it when Gabi talked about herself. Her confidence was always something that many people lacked, and really came out when she was talking about something she knew she was good at. She was cute when she was confident.  
“This is going to sound really pessimistic but I think the teachers actually just getting better at putting up with my shit.” She said this with zero confidence. Her head was down and her hands were in her pockets. I could tell this wasn't the only thing that had been bothering her, as after lunch she didn't say much all class, and had looked very uncomfortable since first period.  
We walked in silence and it didn't feel comfortable anymore. It felt suffocating. Like the halls were closing in on us and we were drowning in our own mistakes. She seemed very sad. She actually had been less energetic for a while. When I thought about it she had seemed more unhappy since the night she kissed me.  
My mind started to go in a thousand different directions. I came up with various solutions to why she was feeling this way, but only one stuck out to me as the one that made sense.  
Gabi felt bad for kissing me, and the guilt of something that brought me so much joy was driving her into another depressive cycle.  
I didn't like this conclusion even though I knew it was the most likely explanation for what was going on. Gabi and Junko needed monogamy and dedication and we were all painfully aware of it. Gabi probably hadn't been thinking of the consequences of kissing me, and only of winning the argument, something she was prone to doing. The consequences, me falling head over heels for her, and her feeling crushingly guilty the next day.  
I think that was why she hadn't gone out of her way to see me. Not because our paths hadn't crossed but because seeing me reminded her of something she was ashamed of doing.  
I felt terrible. Not just for indirectly making her feel bad but for enjoying it so much. I had felt amazing, almost giddy, around her ever since we'd kissed, while she only felt guilt.  
“Um Kyoko are you doing okay?” I was instantly brought back into reality by Gabi's voice. It wasn't nearly as timid as I thought it might be, sounding more like her regular loud sarcastic self than the guilt stricken girl I'd just come to the conclusion that she was becoming.  
“Oh of course? Why wouldn't I be??” I sounded much less sure than I had planned, and each answer sounded like I was unsure of myself and questioning her.  
“You're making the 'I'm over thinking and questioning my entire life' face again.” The fact that she had such an accurate name for it was upsetting.  
As we came to our room I got out my key, just after Gabi unlocked the door with her own.  
“Oh I got Sayaka to copy my key.”, Gabi clarified, given that I probably looked more than a little dazed and confused.  
“I figured.”, I replied. As we walked in the scent of our lived in room made me regret my own decisions as a friend. I was regretting left and right. All I was doing was regretting.  
I think Gabi could tell given that she looked at me, led me to my bed, sat me down, and went over to the kitchen. I watched her go over to where we kept our pasta and pull out enough to feed a village of peasants. Pasta was her comfort food, and given that she didn't know what mine was, she was probably going to make sure I ate even if I felt awful.  
I was falling into a pit of self loathing when she eventually came over to me with a bowl big enough to keep a 6 month old child in, completely full of spaghetti. It was ridiculous, but I didn't want to let it go to waste so I accepted it.  
“Sorry if you don't like spaghetti. You seemed really sad and it was the only thing I could think of doing.”  
I stared at her blankly, not sure whether I should tell her everything I've been thinking about, all my worries and fears, or if I should just shut up, thank her, and eat some god damn spaghet.  
Against my better judgement, I told her everything. Hot tears began to roll down my cheeks as I told her about how bad I felt for making her feel the way she did. It felt like a tumblr post. Sitting in my dorm, crying over an intense crush into an oversized bowl of spaghetti while said crush sat next to me, oblivious and gay, as I sobbed into my pasta.  
Once I'd finally told her everything, the conclusions I'd come to, how sorry I was, and that she should cut me out of her life if I made her do things she'd regret, she just looked at me. Not in the way I thought she would, amazement that I'd figured out all that just by staring at her during class. She looked at me with pure confusion in her eyes.  
“What? No, no Kyoko, I'm not sad because I kissed you, I'm sad because my favourite character was killed off in the game I'm playing. And I've been all restless and quiet in class because Leon and Sayaka are having relationship issues and I'm worried about her.”  
I felt stupid and selfish. Stupid for over thinking something and coming to the complete wrong conclusion. If my relatives heard what I'd just thought they would think I had my fathers lack of Kirigiri skill. They would only pity me more. Selfish for assuming her sadness had been caused by me, when in reality it was caused by worry for someone she was much closer to. Why would she worry about me when Sayaka was going through such a hard time.  
All of my negative thoughts about myself began to spill out of my mouth and I began crying again. Gabi put her arms around me and tried to sooth me. I'd never been so emotionally vulnerable with anyone before in my life. I buried my head into her neck and sobbed louder, trying to keep the spaghetti on my lap.  
“Kyoko don't say such terrible things about yourself,”, Gabi whispered into my ear. “You're my best friend and what's going on with Sayaka isn't your fault. It was only natural that you came to the wrong conclusion because you didn't have all the information. There's no shame in that.”  
She stroked my hair and rubbed my back lovingly. Even though I would have normally been regretting telling anyone that much about myself, I felt safe telling Gabi. I knew she understood, just from what she was saying to calm my anxieties.  
“Are you going to eat your spaghetti or do you want some cheese for it?”  
I giggled even though my chest was still heaving, and my breathing was all out of pace from crying so hard. I began wiping my tears with my gloves, had they not been made of leather, they would have soaked into my hands.  
“I'm okay without, thanks.”, Even though we'd just established I wasn't any burden on her, I still didn't want to make her get me more cheese. Plus I don't like cheese very much.  
I began to eat the food she'd made for me. It was delicious. I couldn't remember what my mother's cooking tasted like, given that she died when I was very young, but I felt as if this spaghetti was what people meant when they talked about mom's cooking. The level of comfort you feel just from eating it was amazing. As if all the good parents in the world had come down to give me a hug and tell me they were proud of me. I almost started to cry again but Gabi stopped me before I could get the chance.  
“Okay you don't have to cry over the pasta. I know I'm a good cook but you don't need to start crying again.”, she told me.  
Through a mouth full of delicious spaghet, I laughed and tried to keep myself from thinking of anything that would make me cry again.  
After eating close to half the bowl (which was a lot) I began to feel full and got up to put the bowl on the kitchen counter. Assuming I didn't wake up at night and eat it as comfort food I would figure out what to do with it in the morning.  
“You realize you ate the equivalent of half a human child in spaghetti, right?”  
I cleared my throat. “It was a lot, but I get hungry when I'm sad. And it was really delicious..” I told her.  
“Aw thanks. I really just threw a gay joke in waiting into a pot and slapped some tomato sauce on top. It really wasn't anything special.” She said with a shrug.  
“Stop being humble, it was delicious and now is my comfort food.”, I assured her.  
As I said this she came over to me and held me hands, looking me in the eyes.  
“Kyoko of there's ever anything you want to talk about please come tell me. Don't let it build up because it clearly took a massive toll on you. A toll that you apparently replaced with spaghetti.” She laughed at her own joke and had to wait a minute to compose herself before talking again. In that time I started laughing too. It was a ridiculous coping mechanism. The kind you would assume was a good joke on tumblr.  
When we finally stopped laughing I responded to her offer. “I do hope you realize I trust you more than anyone else in the world. No one has ever seen me cry like that, not even my own father.”  
“Of course I know. And I promise I won't take it lightly either. I never want you to have to cry like that again, alone, or with anyone else. I hate seeing you sad Kyoko, and I promise I'll do everything I can to help you if you ever feel that way again.” As she said this she gave my hands a squeeze and I pulled her into a tight hug.  
I put my arms around her waist and she held my shoulders. I burrowed my head deep into her neck and she began to stroke my hair again. My god that was the most comforting feeling in the world.  
After our long hug I went to the bathroom to wash the spaghetti, tears, and whatever makeup was left off of my face while Gabi just face planted into her bed and let out a ground shaking moan. An acceptable response after the emotionally exhausting day we'd just had.  
When I left the bathroom she invited me to her bed and I told her all about Celeste.  
“You have a crush~”, she sang, not long before burrowing her head into my neck and telling me her own stories of her friends.  
We talked back and forth for a long time, cuddling like we always did until she said something that sent shivers down my spine.  
“If you ever see Sayaka in the halls alone, bring her into our room no matter what, and if she ever wants to come in, no matter what the reason, let her in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, was that foreshadowing?? Oof, looks like I'll need to make a cohesive plot after all


	7. Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and The Popular Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A really long chapter where Kyoko makes a friend.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDERS, MENTIONS OF RAPE, ABUSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter, its probably my favourite one so far. I love it so much I kept coming back to write more! I guess thats why it ended up being 6K words... oops. Oh and trigger warning for rape, eating disorders, and abuse

Kyoko Kirigiri, her Dumbass Roommate, and The Popular Girls.  
It wasn't very often that I got to be alone in our dorm, given that either Gabi was lying around, or I was out searching for clues on the school, but there I was, sitting on my counter, sipping tea from my favourite mug, in my most comfortable clothing, completely alone.  
I looked over at myself in the mirror by my bed. I was a tall, purple-eyed girl, with long platinum blonde hair, with a single small braid in my otherwise loose hair. I usually wore a purple jacket and a black skirt, but today I felt the need to be more comfortable, and wore a loose purple-grey cardigan with a baggy white tank top underneath. Since I didn't need to make myself presentable I wasn't wearing my usual contacts, and instead wore my bulky, purple, thick ass glasses. It was honestly a wonder I got my contacts in at all, given how absolutely blind I was without them. Even though I knew no one could see me, I still wore my black leather studded gloves to hide my hands.  
Going further down the mirror I was also wearing a black skirt, and long black and white striped stockings. I didn't often like the way I looked and I very rarely found myself attractive, but for the first time, possibly ever, I thought I looked pretty damn cute.  
I was sitting on the corner of the counter, curled up between two walls, reading a good book with a cup of green tea. It was something I'd wanted to do for a long time, but since I was never free, I had only just gotten the chance.  
My comfort and solitude was quickly put to an end, as my door flew open with a heavy kick, and in came three people I knew fairly well.  
My roommate and best friend, Gabi, her girlfriend, Junko Enoshima, and their mutual friend, Sayaka Maizono.  
Junko had been the one to kick open the door. Given that it was the weekend and we didn't have to adhere to the loose dress code, she was wearing long black platform boots which had probably helped her to practically break down the door.  
“Hey Kyoko! I didn't know you'd be here lmao, if I did I probably would have just rang the door bell! Oops!” Junko was clearly as… energetic as ever.  
Other than her boots, she was wearing a red plaid skirt that was incredibly short. Her shirt was a black on the outside, white on the inside, button up that she had only buttoned up to right above the curve of her boobs, showing off an impressive amount of bra and cleavage. She'd rolled up her sleeves to just above her elbow, and had popped her collar, giving her a vibe that was so powerfully gay it was as if she was challenging god herself. She was wearing a black and white tie, that she had loosened to the point of absurdity. It was hanging so far down it was even hanging past her skirt. I couldn't decide if that said more about her tie, or her skirt.  
Her hair was tied into two ridiculously fluffy, cream coloured ponytails, tied with Monokuma themed elastics. She didn't seem like the kind of person to flaunt her school's mascot, but I guessed she just liked his design or something. Although she did have a bow, it was almost as if she had no idea what to do with it, as it was just tied to the collar of her tie.  
“Yeah, I told her she could have just knocked… but y'know, it's Junko.”, Gabi apologized on Junko's behalf, seemingly very tired and more than a little bit ready to plop down onto her bed and cuddle up with her girlfriend.  
She was wearing much more practical clothes than Junko. A baggy black hoodie with a yellow shirt underneath, the shirt saying something about butter being killed. Other than that she wore skinny jeans and flip flops she'd taken off at the door. She was also wearing her signature grey beanie on top of her long brown hair, and glasses that were nearly as thick as mine.  
“Oh it's alright I guess,”, I assured her half heartedly, while hopping off the counter and straightening out my skirt. “I probably would have just let you in anyway.”  
“Oh Kyoko! I didn't know you wore glasses!”, Sayaka chirped, trying to start up a conversation.  
Sayaka had long blue hair, and matching blue eyes. She wore a pretty typical blue and white sailor uniform, with the exception of a light pink ribbon instead of a red scarf. She wore a typical blue skirt and long black thigh highs. Her shoes were brown loafers, even though we were allowed to dress however we wanted, she still basically just wore a school uniform.  
“Oh yeah, my sight is actually pretty bad. I figured since not many people would be seeing me today I could wear them instead of my contacts… I guess not though…” I tried to force a laugh but I was suddenly feeling very self conscious and couldn't do much but force a dry and clearly fake chuckle.  
“Well I think they look really good on you! You look super cute!”, Sayaka seemed to have picked up on my insecurity, and immediately tried to soothe it. She was a really nice person.  
“Hey Kyoko! You and Gobi should start a 'Blind Bitches' club! You could join the ‘strangely specific club with only two members' club!”, Junko presented what sounded like a fun enough idea, but just left me wondering how many strangely specific clubs with only two members there were in our class.  
“Just out of curiosity…”, Junko perked her head up when I asked, ”How many clubs are in the second club you mentioned?”  
“There's actually a whole bunch! Me and Sakura form the 'Black in Beta' club, me and Sayaka are the 'Legitimate Celebrity' club, Leon and Sayaka are the 'We Have A Band' club, me and Gobi are the ‘Exceptionally Talented But Were Invited To Hope’s Peak For The Most Superficial Reason Possible’ club.”, Apparently the list went on.  
Sayaka cut in. ”There are actually a lot more people in the Legitimate Celebrity club. Not just me and Junko, but pretty much the entire class. There's also Chihiro, Toko, Hifumi, Leon, Mondo (except he refuses to admit it), Hina, Sakura, Celeste, and those are only the ones in our class! There's even more in the 77th class and then some more in in the first years. Junko and I are probably the most famous though… so she kind of crowned us the supreme leaders of the school… Kokichi was not happy about that.” Sayaka seemed a little bit embarrassed to admit that she was legitimately famous, pausing and laughing nervously every now and then.  
“Wait I'm also in the Legitimate Celebrity club, you guys I have like 86 million subscribers what the heck.” Everyone acted like they'd totally just let that slip their minds. The reason nobody ever remembered Gabi's sub count was because she was very popular in the west, but was only now spreading over to Japan. It was sort of a given, since she lived here and all, but she was spreading over fast. To the point that after only two weeks of attending Hope's Peak she was already getting recognized in the streets.  
“Yeah I guess You're just taking a while to get popular here, sorry babe.” Junko apologized, patting Gabi's arm.  
“The thing is, I'm totally not though. Yesterday I saw a store selling my merch, the day before I was surrounded by a gang of teenage girls who wanted my autograph, and the day before that I was literally given a love letter by some creepy old guy in his 20's”  
“Oh boy you get to join the 'Harassed By Creepy Old Guys' club!” Sayaka informed her, giving her a high five to show her in.  
“Aw man, now we can't be in the strangely specific club with only two members club anymore.” Junko said sadly.  
“Don't worry about it, you're in so many oddly specific clubs you'll be in the strangely specific club with only two members club no matter what.” As Sayaka comforted Junko I figured this was probably her role within the friend dynamic.  
As they all talked some more about the intricacies of the strangely specific clubs I took my book and yeeted it under my pillow, and then sat on my bed. Gabi quickly followed, finally getting the chance to sit on her bed, followed by Junko who took the chance to curl up with her girlfriend. Sayaka, not wanting to get between Gobi and Junko sat next to me, and we all began to talk once more.  
“So like, do y'all want me to make you dinner or something?” Gabi offered.  
“Oh no it's okay, I'm not hungry.” Junko denied politely.  
This seemed to set something off within Sayaka and Gabi as they looked at each other with worry in both of their eyes.  
“I mean, even if you're not hungry, you should still eat something.” Gabi responded.  
“Yeah Junko, you haven't really eaten anything today. If you have a small appetite I understand, but you should still eat something.” Sayaka added.  
They both seemed very intent on getting Junko to eat. I kept this at the back of my mind in case I wanted to ask later.  
“Anyway I'm making y'all some food and there's nothing you can do about it.” Gabi said as she got up off her bed.  
Junko didn't seem to want her to go as she grabbed her arm before she could fully walk away. They whispered something to each other that I couldn't quite hear, then Gabi kissed her forehead and left to go to the kitchen.  
For the first time I saw Junko act incredibly out of character. It was as if all her energy had been drained from her. She just brought her legs into her chest and curled up into a ball.  
Seeing her friend in such clear distress, Sayaka got up and sat next to Junko, holding her in a sort of half hug.  
I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed where I was and tried not to look like I pitied her.  
“So Kyoko, what have you been doing all day?”, Sayaka asked.  
It was starting to get dark outside and I realized I had just about wasted one of the very few free days I had.  
“Not really anything to be honest. I've just been reading on the counter pretty much all day.” I knew Sayaka had been trying to start up a conversation, maybe to get Junko to feel a little better, but I really couldn't say much given that I'd been inside all day.  
Apparently, it worked anyways since Junko propped her chin up on her knees and started talking. “We've just been wandering around the city all day. For whatever reason Gobi knew the area better than both me and Sayaka, which is pretty weird given that we both grew up here, and Gobi's from literal Canada.”  
“Yeah I noticed she knows Japan really well, as if she's lived here her entire life or something.”, Sayaka added, “And also as if her entire life was like, 40 years.”  
“Probably longer, since she knows Tokyo just as well as fucking rural Osaka. It's like she somehow managed to live a life in every place we've been to. Fucking wacky amirite.” Junko said.  
“Yeah I noticed that about her too.”, I chimed in, “She always knows where to go and where everything is.”  
“Maybe she just has a really good sense of direction?” Sayaka theorized.  
“Makes sense. That does sound like something she'd be good at.” Junko didn't seem to have much trouble accepting Sayaka's theory.  
Sayaka, Junko, and I all talked for a long time about school, our friends, the absolute weirdos that populated our class, and every now and then, Gabi.  
“Okay but Hifumi is actually so gross” Sayaka started.  
“Oh my god YES.”, Junko agreed enthusiastically. “I swear Yesterday he took a picture of my underwear.”  
“I wouldn't be surprised. He's done that to both me and Celeste before.”  
“Seriously? Oh my god that is so gross. I fucking hate him.”  
“Honestly I feel worse for Celeste.”, Sayaka said. “She's basically just his dominatrix fetish toy. It's disgusting.”  
I suddenly felt a twang of sympathy in my chest. Celeste was a good person, and everyone viewed her as a sort of 'not to be messed with' bitchy kind if person, even though she really only acted that way to try and keep Hifumi off of her.  
Eventually Gabi came back to us with four bowls of spaghetti precariously balanced on her arms. I was starting to wonder if she only knew how to make spaghetti.  
Upon seeing this, Junko and Sayaka screamed “SPAGHET”, simultaneously.  
When Gabi gave Sayaka her bowl she moved back next to me. However, when Gabi gave Junko her bowl, her previous enthusiasm was gone and she looked at it with longing. Gabi passed me my bowl and proceeded to sit back down next to Junko.  
“Babe, you're gonna eat, right?” Gabi wrapped her arm around Junko's waist.  
“I'm… not hungry.” Her statement was immediately proven to be false as her stomach growled loudly.  
“You quite clearly are.”, Sayaka said this much more assertively than she had before. She seemed very intent on making Junko eat.  
Junko looked at both of them, seemingly in a silent argument with them, and they then looked at me, almost as if I was being used as an argument against her.  
Whatever silent argument they were having, Gabi and Sayaka seemed to have won, given that Junko picked up her fork, and started eating. After the first bight, she started to eat faster, proving how hungry she must have been. Even with her proving herself right multiple times as to how hungry she was, her eating speed slowed and eventually stopped around half the bowl. It wasn't as if it was the human child sized bowl Gabi had given me a couple of days ago, it was just a regular bowl, and she couldn't seem to be able to bring herself to finishing it.  
When we all finished eating and had placed our bowls on the counter, it seemed I wasn't the only one who felt more relaxed, as Gabi and Junko really cuddled up next to each other on the bed.  
Sayaka turned to me and raised a finger to her lips. She quietly pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened Snapchat, taking a video of the two of the with the caption “soft gays,,, my heart💖💗💟💗💕”.  
I suppressed a chuckle, and when she turned to me we gave each other puppy dog eyes.  
She placed a hand over her heart and whispered “Babies.”, at me.  
I gave her a nod in agreement and we looked back at them to see Junko fast asleep on Gabi's chest, sitting next to her, holding her waist, as Gabi was still sitting up rubbing Junko's shoulder.  
“Y'all are absolutely adorable.” Sayaka complimented them, but quietly, as not to wake up Junko.  
“Aw thanks.”, Gabi responded, “But you don't need to whisper, Junko sleeps really deeply.”  
“And apparently she snores like a snow globe too.” Sayaka giggled. Clearly an inside joke I didn't get. Gabi joined her laughing, but stopped herself as not to wake up Junko, unfortunately, suppressing her laughter only seemed to make them want to laugh more.  
“And she is asleep, right?”, I clarified, wanting to make sure I could ask a certain question.  
Gabi looked at her girlfriend, kissed the top of her head, and confirmed. “Yep. Dead asleep. Why?” she asked.  
Sayaka and Gabi looked at each other, quickly, but still noticeably.  
“Should we address the elephant in the room?”, Sayaka seemed to have gotten there before me, as that was exactly what I was going to say.  
“How did you know that was exactly what I was going to say?” I asked.  
“Oh, I'm psychic.” Sayaka said, with a sweet smile.  
“Wow seriously? That's really cool. You should have told me earlier it would have been really useful.” Gabi replied.  
“Gobi,”, Sayaka said, reaching out to touch her knee. “We've talked about this. I'm just kidding, I have really good inuition.”  
Gabi looked down at her knees, clearly disappointed and a little embarrassed. That didn't last long however, as she quickly perked her head back up. “Yeah we probably should talk about Mathematics.”  
“Wait why math?” I asked, thoroughly confused.  
“You know, Mathematics? The name of the elephant in the room?”, Gabi looked at me as if this was common knowledge, probably trying to lighten the situation a bit before dropping the bomb. “But yeah, Junko's anorexic.”  
I was shocked. I knew she was thin, but I didn't think that was the reason. I felt terrible. Knowing about the struggle that anorexic people faced made me feel awful for not knowing earlier.  
“I-I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked.”, I apologized, feeling like I'd crossed a serious boundary that I shouldn't have.  
“It's okay. I think you should know, so that you don't think me and Sayaka were just being unnecessarily mean to her.” Gabi replied, giving Junko's arm a squeeze before going back to the conversation at hand.  
“We've been trying to help her for a while, and she's gotten a lot better, but recently I've noticed she's been going to the bathroom after every time she eats, and it didn't take long for Gabi to learn she was making herself throw up.” Sayaka added to both the conversation, and my growing worry for Junko's health.  
“I mean, I'm not completely shocked,”, I said. “In our e-handbooks is has all our vitals and I always thought something weird was going on, given that she's 5'7 and somehow only 97 pounds.”  
I had often told people my worries about Junko's weight before, but saying out loud, that she was only 97 pounds, now knowing the reason why, sent shivers down my spine.  
“I guess that's just the industry.”, Sayaka said. “I always knew the modeling and music industries were pretty bad, but I feel like I didn't really know how bad it was until we found out.”  
“Yeah,”, Gobi agreed with her. “I always heard like, songs and stuff, about how shite the music industry is but I didn't really understand until you told me what you had to do.”  
Sayaka and Gabi engaged in what looked like another silent conversation. They kept looking back at me until eventually Sayaka shrugged and said, “Yeah, my manager groomed me when I was just starting out.”  
“Oh my god.” I didn't know what to say. Did every popular person in our class have some sort of ridiculously sad backstory?  
“Oh and it gets worse!”, Sayaka said with a sort of pessimistic grin. “I tried to cut ties with him, buy he already had everything.”  
“What do you mean, everything?”, I asked.  
“He had my nudes.”, I suddenly felt very stupid. Sayaka hadn't said that with even a trace of a smile. “So yeah, I tried to get a new manager, I even went so far as to get a new record label, but he just kept showing up to make things worse. Eventually it came to the point where I had to file a restraining order, but when my record label got wind of it they told me if I went through with it they would drop us.”  
“So what did you do?”, I asked. It was an incredibly dark story so far but I was really hoping for a happy ending.  
“Well I went back to my old manager's company, to see if I could get his boss to do anything about it.”, Sayaka pushed a strand of hair from her face and looked over at me. “You look kind of uncomfortable, do you want me to continue?”  
I nodded but she placed her hand on my knee and looked at me very seriously.  
“It doesn't get much better from here, you might not want to know what happens next.”, she said, softly as if not to scare me away.  
“No it's okay, I always have to finish a story, even if the story teller won't tell me directly, and I think It'd be wrong to go fishing through your history.”  
She looked like she liked this answer. She backed away from me and sat down in a more comfortable position, getting ready to tell me the end. “Okay so, where was I?” She paused momentarily, gathering her thoughts before continuing. “Oh right, my last manager's boss. Okay so I walk into his office, in the most formal thing I could find. Given this was like, last year, I was this very serious looking 16 year old, trying very hard to act business like, and I was probably adorable.”, She said with a giggle. “Okay so I'm in the guys office, he looks me up and down as if he's sizing me up or something, and we start talking. I tell him that my last manager (I should have said one of his employees) wouldn't leave me alone, and if he didn't do anything about it, I would be forced to file a restraining order.  
I'd already talked with the rest of the squad and they were just like 'Yeah you go Sayaka! Do whatever it takes!' So I didn't feel too bad about setting myself up to be kicked from our label. So this creep looks at me again, and before his eyes get to my boobs I call him out and he gets mad okay. Like, no one, especially not a pretty teenager that his employee had wrapped around his finger just a year ago, would ever stand up to him. So he is now in no mood to help me, and he just tells me I have to bring it up with the man himself.  
So like, I have no idea what to do, I do not want to confront my old manager, because he's a creep who I swore to never see again, but you know what? Squad fam said I should do whatever it takes? So I'm gonna do whatever it takes. So I practically collapse in front of this guy. I start begging and pleading 'Please, please, I'll do anything just keep him away from me'. So you know what this guy says? He says that there is one thing I can do to keep him off of me. He says, that if I show him what had my old manager so obsessed with me, then he would keep him away from me.”  
“So what was it?”  
“Well it wasn't anything too great so don't get your hopes up!”, Sayaka said with another nihilistic smile. “So basically, I had to have sex with him if I wanted to keep my last manager off of me.”  
“Ew what the fuck?”  
“I know right!? Like, is this not exactly what I was trying to stop in the first place? But anyway, it was my only option so I agreed, signed a form that somehow covered the weird ass situation I was in, and we had dinner that night at six. I didn't tell the gang about it, because in my eyes, it was like I was protecting them from something. Like of I didn't tell them what I had to do, they wouldn't have to deal with it either, y'know?” Sayaka sighed, and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “So the time comes, and I meet him at this big fancy restaurant. He pays for the food, and the whole time I have to be super nice to him. It was a really gross feeling, essentially being on a date with this old creep, because I could legitimately be his daughter, maybe even his granddaughter if he had kids young, and here I was, eating dinner with him in a romantic restaurant. Ugh I cringe just thinking about it. But yeah, he pays for the food, I try to cover some of the cost, he won't let me, and we go back to his hotel room.  
On the way there, I keep thinking I should just back out. Say I have somewhere to be, maybe a family emergency, and run away and never see him again. But I never do, because I signed the contract, and because I was too scared. After I made it big in the pop world, I never thought I would feel too scared to do anything. I was tough, I made it all on my own, just me and my best friends, writing our own songs, choreographing our own dances, planning our own shows, and designing our own outfits. I always thought I could do anything on my own, but there I was, too scared to stop walking, going to my disgusting old boss's love hotel.  
After we got there and did the thing, I sat in the bathroom and cried. I was so disgusted, I couldn't look at myself without wanting to break the mirror. So I was sitting on the toilet, in the fetal position, crying into my naked arms, when he comes in all 'Oh what's wrong? Did I scare you? Haha I'm such a fun cool old pedophile.' So I made up some shit about missing my dad, and put my clothes back on and left. I never saw him, or my old manager again, so I guess that's good, but sometimes I wish I'd just filed the restraining order and gotten another label.”, she let out a heavy sigh, and sat next to me. “Thanks for listening to all that. It probably wasn't very fun, but I mean, it wasn't fun for me either.” She forced another very fake laugh.  
“I'm so sorry you had to go through that,”, I said, placing my hand on her knee. “but at least you're okay now, right?”  
“Okay let's not get into that.”, Sayaka giggled, leaning her head on my shoulder. “Okay, back to Junko, how do you think her hair is so big? Like is it teased? Is it magic? Is it a wig? Is her hair just that thick?”  
“Oh yeah it's just really thick, it's fucking crazy.”, Gabi hadn't said anything this whole time, but she finally said something again.  
“Wait really?”, me and Sayaka both leaned over to touch Junko's hair, and it was, ridiculously thick.  
“Wow,”, Sayaka said in awe, “She's like a dog or something.”  
“A really clean dog.”, I added.  
As we lay in disbelief, Gabi eventually fell asleep, leaving only me, and Sayaka, left to talk to each other.  
“So Kyoko,”, she asked, I immediately looked at her giving her my whole attention. “You're bi, right?”  
“Yeah something like that.”, I said with a shrug.  
“Okay same, but like, can we just agree that the most sexually confusing thing is pretty boys and handsome women being too close to each other?”, She said eagerly.  
“Oh my god yes,”, I said, getting very excited. “and when you're attracted to one a little more than the other and you're just sitting there,-“  
“Crying in your prom dress!?”  
“Yeah, and you're just like, fuck does this make me more gay or more straight?? I don't understand???”  
“Oh my god and then a hot enby shows up and you're just like, my sexuality is a lie that I don't understand and probably never will!!”  
We talked like that for a while, until eventually, Sayaka got tired, and began to cuddle up next to me.  
For a second I started panicking, but with her head on my shoulder, she spoke before I could freak out too much.  
“Hey Kyoko?”, she said sleepily, raising her head off my shoulder, but still pressed up next to me. “ Can I confide in you?”  
I put my arm around her waist, trying to make her feel safer before answering, “Yeah of course, I'll listen to anything you want to tell me.”, Knowing that she'd been through a lot, and with the added worry Gabi had placed on me yesterday, I felt like I had to be nice to her.  
“So you know I'm dating Leon and stuff, right?” She clarified, before telling me whatever it was she wanted to say.  
I simply nodded, rubbing her shoulder.  
“We've just been having a lot of fights lately, and honestly, it's stressing me out.”, I could tell she was holding something back. As if she decided last minute not to tell me.  
“How bad has it gotten?”, I pressed, trying to see if I could get whatever she was originally going to say out of her.  
She grimaced and sucked her teeth, “Pretty bad.”  
“Has he ever.. you know, hurt you?” I tried assuming the worst. If I was wrong, it would narrow down a lot of possibilities, and if I was right, well, I was right.  
She looked at me nervously, as if she was afraid someone would hear. “You promise not to tell anyone?”  
“Of course, I won't tell anyone else unless they already know.”  
She raised one finger, “Only once. I guess it wasn't that bad, but I was really scared.”  
“Can I ask what happened?”, My detective nature was getting the best of me, but I still wanted to be mindful of her boundaries.  
“We… were fighting. It got pretty heated, to say the least, and I brought up something way too touchy. I'd been pushing his buttons all day and, I guess he just finally snapped.”  
Placing my other hand on her thigh, I tried to comfort her. “You don't ha-“  
“He slapped me.”  
I looked at her, wide eyed and in a little bit of shock. “I'm so sorry Sayaka that's terrible.”  
“I was so scared Kyoko, I ran into the bathroom and hid until he left. I didn't even come out after that. I was crying so hard,”, She began to get choked up, “I was just crying and screaming, Toko was so worried when she came back. She begged me to open the door, for I don't know how long. When I finally let her in she just held me a-and whispered soft things into my ear.”, She was fully crying now. “She doesn't really seem like it, but she's a total sweetheart once you get to know her. We sat in that bathroom for a long time. She was so kind to me that night, I wish more people got to see her like that. She stroked my hair and wiped my tears, telling me over and over that I was safe with her, that she'd protect me from him, that I'd be okay.”  
She was so upset just telling me this story, I couldn't help but feel bad. She had curled up into a ball next to me, and I pulled her in for a hug, telling her she was okay, that it wouldn't happen again. It didn't take too long for her to stop crying, given that the worst of the story was over once she'd started. She wrapped her arms around me and I held her. I had one hand on the back of her head, rubbing it gently, the other one her back, making small circles. She had her head buried in my neck, and her arms wrapped around it as well.  
For a long time we sat together, I almost started crying at seeing how upset she was. Eventually we lay back down and I invited her under the sheets. She slept, head on my chest, arms clutching my sides. It was comfortable sleeping with her. Even now, I hope that night she had felt some comfort with me, even if it was just a little, because in the end, that was all I'd managed to do for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sayaka! Is! Babey!  
> Oh god, more foreshadowing?? What the fuck am I going to do to Sayaka?? Well you won't know for a while because I leave the plot during the next chapter for some fluffy gay stuff! Look forward to it!


	8. A Dumbass and her Girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabi and Junko cuddle and do gay things together. More spaghetti, more upsetty, and more fluffy lesbians!  
> Bonus scene where Junko reads Makoto's search history out loud to the class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I made this because the last two chapters were really sad, and I needed some happy stuff for my girls. I have something planned for Sayaka, so she'll have a sort of character arc. Because of that I cant have someone hug her and fix her right away, but I can have someone cuddle Junko.

Junko whined from across the room. “I need physical affectionnnnnnn.” “Wow, and you call me a bottom.”, I always liked to pretend I was sick of her shit, but we all knew I loved her too much to actually get tired of her. I walked over to her bed and immediately plopped down next to her. “Babe, did you see my tiktoks?”, She asked while wrapping her arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck. “Of course, I liked them and everything.”, I assured her, pulling her up onto my lap and resting my head on her shoulder. “But did you just like them on the app or did you really like them?”, she prodded, seemingly unsatisfied by my answer. As she straddled my waist with her legs, I looked her in the eyes and tried as best as I could to convince her I liked them. I wasn't as if I didn't, she can just be pretty stubbornly insecure about this kind of thing. “Baby, of course I liked them. You're a tiktok god, everything you put out is iconic as balls.” Still straddling me, she flopped over backwards, and with a loud sigh she exclaimed, “But are they as iconic as they normally are? I'm really falling into a slump here. A tik tok slump of creativity!” I moved over to be closer to her. Back against the headboard I stroked her hair and told her she was doing wonderfully, and that her creativity would come back soon. This seemed to satisfy her enough to stop insisting they weren't as good as normal, and she lay her head on my lap. I rubbed her back and played with her hair. We sat in silence just long enough for her to get bored (so not long at all) and she bounced up to look me in the eyes. Suddenly full of energy, Junko grabbed my face and pulled it towards hers. “Gobi did Kyoko and Sayaka touch my hair while I slept a couple nights ago?”, she asked, very seriously. It wasn't the type of seriousness that made you think she meant business, but the kind a toddler would have, making you laugh and play along with whatever it was they were on about. Grabbing her face, I answered. “Yep. They said you felt like a clean dog.” “Well there goes my self-esteem for the year.”, she sighed, collapsing into my arms. “I don't think they meant it in a bad way. They were only comparing you to a dog because your hair is so thick.”, I tried to comfort her, already knowing the damage had been done. Junko was the type of person to take everything to heart, but never let it show. “Have you ever felt a clean dog? My mom collects fancy lap dogs, and bathes them like, all the time, and even when they're clean they still feel gross and doggy. I don't want my hair to feel like that!”, she moaned into my shoulder. “That's not what they meant babe, they just meant your hair is thick.”, I assured her. I kissed the top of her head for extra affection, knowing how desperately she craved it. Sitting herself back up, she grabbed my face and pulled me closer, just close enough for our noses to touch. My heart started beating faster as she looked into my eyes, staring into the pits of my screaming gay soul. She traced my thighs with her long fake fingernails, eventually throwing the whole concept of build-up out the window, and pulling me in for a passionate kiss. It was quick, but substantial. Leaving me with enough to fantasize about for at least a week. “That's for calling me a bottom.”, she teased, tracing my jawline with her nail. In reality, we were both hard-core switches, but when I'm bottoming, I go full useless bottom and can't even think straight. (pun intended.) “Aljdbsldkndnxjsls.”, I verbally key smashed, the sign of a true bottom. “Hee hee,”, she hee hee'd, “I broke Gobi~”, she sang in a sing song-y voice. “Pfhhdkalsk stopppp.”, I begged, too gay to even form a decent attack. “Hm babeyyy.”, she giggled, pulling my head into her chest. As I lay on her very full breasts, she laughed again, “You know, I've met so many creepy guys who would kill to be you right now.” “Ironic, given that I'm a bambi lesbian and only realized I'm nappin' on tiddy after you mentioned creepy guys getting jealous.” I nuzzled her collarbone, fully enjoying myself. “If any old dude does something gross to you, tell me and I'll beat 'em up, ‘kay?” “Normally I'd tell you I can beat up my own creeps, but I like it when you get protective of me. Makes me feel loved,,,”, She mewled, giving the top of my head a kiss before I managed to pull it out of tiddy, and lay it back down on her shoulder. “That's good, given that I love you.” I said, kissing her neck. “Hnggg Babyyyyy.”, She squealed, pulling my up into a hug. I kissed her cheek and listened to her giggle in delight at my simple acts of affection. I lay down on her bed, curling into her when she joined me. “I love that when we first got together you were always so upset that you were taller than me, and now here you are, 5'9 and still the little spoon.”, Junko said, wrapping her arms around me, pulling me into her neck. “I love that you talk about when we first got together like it wasn't last week.” I pointed out, kissing her neck that smelled strongly of perfume. “Yeah, I don't know why but I always feel like I've been with you forever, even if it's only been a couple weeks.”, she admitted, smiling into my hair. “Yeah, it's because I'm babey.” I stated, factually. “It's true. You are babey.” She agreed. After cuddling with her for a while, (longer than I previously thought she could go without changing what she was doing.) I got up to make her some food. “Where are you going?”, she asked, seemingly sad that I wasn't wrapped up in her arms anymore. “I'm making you food, because I'm a good bottom.”, I replied, walking over to her fridge and grimacing at her lack of food. I guess it made sense that she didn't have food, but I had hoped that Mukuro, who was her sister and roommate, would have kept something in there. “A good bottom, or my Asian grandma?”, She asked, seemingly not impressed that I was trying to feed her again. “I'm Caecilian darling,”, I reminded her, spinning around to look at her. “I'm going to feed you even if it means going back to my room and getting food there.” She looked more than a little bit upset, but eventually softened her glaring, and walked over to me. Stroking my hair, she said “Babe, you really don't need to feed me all the time.” “But you need to eat more.”, I insisted. “I don't want you to have a heart attack and die while working out.”, I kissed her cheek, trying to show her how much I loved her. This seemed to strike a chord, given that her face immediately softened and she pulled me into a hug, burying her face in my neck. “Too far?”, I asked, worried that I'd hurt her. “Yeah, way too far.”, she responded. I felt really bad, so I did the only thing I knew how. I kissed her head and told her I loved her. “I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to scare you.” She sighed and kissed my neck, face still completely out of sight. “I know, but it's really scary, because I know it could happen.”, she admitted, much softer than anything she'd said earlier today. “No, not that it could happen, that it probably will.” “It's not going to happen, I promise.”, I knew I couldn't keep that promise, and I felt gross lying to her like that, but I needed to give my little despair slut some hope. “Please don't give up on me Gabi,”, she pleaded. “I know that I'm not doing a lot to help you, but I want to get better, I really do.” I was so happy I'd gotten her to the point that she actively wanted to get better, and wasn't just being forced by me and Sayaka. “I won't give up on you,”, I promised again, this time less empty, and with more substantial backing. “At least we got you to want to get better amirite?” She laughed, and kissed my cheek, seemingly very pleased that I'd help her. “There's pasta in the cupboard.” “Fuck yeah! I fucking love making pasta!”, secretly, it was the only thing I knew how to make. Bonus Scene I didn't make a lot, knowing that even if she ate, she never had much of an appetite anyway. While making a good sauce out of the small amount of food I found lying around her kitchen, my mind went to reminiscing. Just earlier today, we had all been in class. Me, Sayaka, and Junko, in that order, at the back of the class, talking about whatever dumb shit was on our minds, probably music and boobs. Kyoko and Celeste to our left, playing poker while Celeste definitely flirted with her, Kyoko being a disaster bisexual most likely didn't notice. Toko was behind her, staring at Byakuya, as always. All was fine until Junko remembered something she wanted to do. “Greetings peasants!”, She had exclaimed, seemingly so bored she'd switched up her personality. “We all remember that yesterday, I declared Makoto Naegi a criminal, and decided he will be punished!” We all remembered. Makoto had said something against Junko's favourite artist, and in a fit of rage, she declared him an enemy of the state. She proudly marched to the front of the class, much to the teachers dismay, and pulled out three sheets of paper. “This is his search history from last night!”, She declared, no longer bored, and back to her default personality. She cleared her throat, and started reading. “10:30 PM, Google search, Hope's Peak Academy fan forum.” Makoto was blushing, already knowing what was coming. “10:48, google search, pretty girls with cup ramen on their heads. 10:49, google search, Sayaka Maizono with cup ramen on her head.” Sayaka then started blushing as well, guessing how this was going to turn out. “10:51, google search, Sayaka Maizono kissing girls. 10:54, pornhub, Sayaka Maizono 10:54, google search, Sayaka Maizono's nudes 10:55, google search, Sayaka Maizono naked 10:55, google search, please show me Sayaka Maizono naked 10:57, google search, how to find Sayaka Maizono's nudes 10:58, google search, has Sayaka Maizono gotten her nudes leaked yet 10:58, google search, Sayaka Maizono leaked nudes 11: 03, google search, please pretty please show me Sayaka Maizono naked 11:04, google search, does Sayaka Maizono have a belly button”, And with that, she balled up the papers and threw them out the window, leaving a very flustered Makoto, and a more than a little bit uncomfortable Sayaka. “S-Sayaka I promise it's not what you think!!”, Makoto exclaimed, clearly embarrassed. “I-I know, you were drawing me and someone on the forum asked if I had a belly button, since you didn't know the answer for certain, you looked up my nudes to see if I had one.”, She explained, seemingly hoping for a wholesome answer. “Yeah actually… how did you know?”, Makoto asked. Since it was Makoto, he may very well have just been drawing her, but no one was convinced that was the only reason he decided to look for her nudes. “Because I'm psychic!”, I was about to go off on how she should have told us sooner, and that she could trust me with her secret, when she followed herself up with “I'm kidding, I just have really good intuition. Also your drawing is pinned to the corkboard in the dorms.” With a collective “Oh” from the class, I finished day dreaming, and brought Junko her pasta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Junko is the fucking queen of Tik Tok. I mean, in a way she already is, so is it really just headcanon?
> 
> Also the next update might be in a while because I had these last chapters pre written and I need to put a lot of effort into the next chapter if I don't want it to be offensive. Sorry


	9. Kyoko Kirigiri, and her Dumbass Roommate, Who's 'Bout Ready to Cut a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god this chapter has been in the works for a whole month it's crazy. Anyway, Kyoko watches tik toks and it's absolute gold!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun with this one guys... it's a bit of a mess...

“So Sayaka told you about the Leon thing?”  
It had only been a couple days since the popular girls impulsively decided to sleep in our dorm, but Sayaka suddenly deciding to explain her entire life to me was still on my mind.  
“Yeah, I see why you've been so worried lately.”, Gabi cracked a smile at this, I think she was relieved.  
“So do you want to talk about it or something?”  
“Honestly...”, I really wanted to talk about it, I was worried about her. Not only because of Leon, and that I knew she was seeing him today, but because she didn't seem too upset when she told me a pedophile essentially raped her, but she cried when telling me her boyfriend slapped her. It said a lot about how much it affected her. “Yeah I really do.”  
“Thank god,”, she let out a loud sigh of relief, “I've been wanting to talk to someone about this for so long.”  
“Couldn't you have talked with Junko?”, I asked, having assumed that Junko and Gabi used each other as emotional support.  
“I could have, but I don't like stressing her out with this stuff. She's got enough on her plate already y'know?”, Gabi clarified. “Or y,know maybe she doesn't and that's the problem.”  
We both started giggling uncontrollably. It was a terrible joke, if said in front of the wrong person we might even get slapped, but there we were, laughing about it.  
“Oh my god that's a terrible joke.” I said, still laughing.  
“I know, I think shitty jokes are my only coping mechanism at this point.” Gabi wheezed, probably from laughing way too hard.  
“We must be really on edge, oh my god.”, Our laughter was dying down, as we remembered the gravity of the conversation we were about to have.  
With an audible sigh and a couple extra giggles, we eventually calmed down enough to take ourselves seriously again.  
“I'm so scared for Sayaka, honestly,” Gabi started up the original conversation. “I just want to adopt her and like, keep her with me 24/7 so he can't even get close enough to hurt her.”  
“Yeah I get it, I barely even know Sayaka but when she told me what happened, and she started crying, I wanted to claim her as my daughter so I could shoot Leon and say I was just being a good dad.” I agreed, accidentally making myself sound like an American.  
“Aw, I didn't know she cried.”, Gabi said sadly.  
“Yeah, she was shaking too. It was awful.”  
“I should have guessed. She cried when she told us too. Junko wouldn't leave her alone for a while afterwards, it was kind of adorable.” I had often wondered what Junko and Sayaka were like as friends. I learned from the night that they stayed over, Sayaka spent a lot of time comforting Junko, so it was good that Junko put effort into comforting Sayaka too.  
“I just wish I knew how to help her. She's clearly going through a lot, and even if she managed to end it, what would she do with all her trauma? She'd still have to see him everyday, and they might still have existing projects together.”  
“I think the best thing for you to do is just let her know you're there. Be nice to her when you pass her in the halls, listen to her when she talks. If she decides to rant to you again, give her a hug or something I dunno. I think you're doing well.”  
That was comforting to hear. I'd worried that I'd done everything wrong a couple nights ago, but hearing that was exactly what I was supposed to do eased my worries.  
“Good to know.”, I got up to make myself some tea, while Gabi continued talking.  
“I remember the day after it happened, we knew something was up right away. Toko was being really nice to her, and this wasn't when they were already good friends. She would check up on her after every class, and she'd offer to get her stuff too. At first it was really weird, because we had no idea what the fuck was going on, so me and Junko figured she had a crush on Sayaka or something. Of course, we asked at lunch, expecting a funny story about Toko being a weirdo, but obviously that’s not what we got. We noticed later once we were back in class that Sayaka's hands were covered in bite marks, some even broke the skin, which is like, super impressive by the way, I would know I do a TON of hand biting. She told us later that she was biting her hands while she was in the bathroom to keep from screaming while Leon was still there. Sometimes in class her hands would just start shaking really hard so we'd hold them for her. God damn we would be such a good ot3. I seriously wish we had our own fan base based around our actual lives and not just Junko and Sayaka's bikini pictures.”, Gabi started to ramble, maybe it was a coping mechanism, maybe she just wanted to talk about her friends. Either way I let her go on, not wanting to force a sad story out of her.  
“Anyway we made sure to keep an eye on her after that. Toko ended up coming to us to explain what she saw. We told her what we knew, she told us what she knew, and in the end we both promised we would take care of Sayaka. Turns out Toko really cares a ton about her. She's pretty cute that way.” As Gabi went on about the incident, memories began drifting back to me as I realized little things I'd noticed around that time that in retrospect, probably were in direct relation to what I now knew had happened.  
“Just out of curiosity,”, I asked, trying to confirm something that had been on my mind. “Was that around the time she lost her voice?”  
“Yeah I remember her mentioning that her throat was sore from screaming or something.”  
Just as I finished preparing my tea, someone started loudly banging on our door, causing Gabi to jump, and me to spill my freshly poured tea.  
Gabi quickly opened the door as I cursed under my breath and tried to clean up my tea. I only realized something might be going on when I heard the door slam behind whoever had just come in.  
Spinning around to see just what the hell was going on, I saw Gabi desperately trying to sooth a familiar head of blue hair.  
Through the sounds of choked sobs, and desperate pleas for help, I heard Gabi go from scared and worried, to absolutely furious.  
Quickly running over to them, Gabi pulled Sayaka into a quick hug, then proceeded to thrust her into my arms.  
“Take care of her for now. Lock the door once I leave. I'm 'bout ready to cut a bitch.”, The anger burning in Gabi's eyes as she said this scared me.  
As I watched her walk out the door and slam it behind her, I immediately tried to sit Sayaka down on my bed so I could lock the door, as I'd been instructed, but Sayaka wouldn't let go of me.  
“Sayaka I have to lock the door.”, I tried reasoning with her, but in this state, I should have guessed it would be completely futile.  
“Please don't leave me here.”, Sayaka begged, clinging to me with only one hand, as the other hung limply beside her.  
This struck me as odd, if she was so desperate why wasn't she using both hands to keep me with her?  
“Sayaka is there something wrong with your other hand?”, I asked, reaching for her arm before she painfully yanked it away from me.  
With a bit of a yelp she took her functioning hand away from my sleeve, and brought it over to hold her own shoulder. “It still hurts.”, She whined.  
Taking my chance to quickly lock up, I shuffled away to the door, while she sat down on the floor, in front of the bed. I felt a little guilty for not immediately soothing her, but the look in Gabi's eyes had really scared me, and I didn't want to cross her now.  
Once I'd finished locking the door, I turned to check on Sayaka, who was rocking herself in the fetal position, sobbing quietly into her knees. The sight of her so upset was unbearable, so I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders.  
As she rocked herself I tried to sooth her. I'd never had to comfort someone so distraught, so I wasn't sure what to do, but I went with my gut and did what I thought would work. Moving my arm from her shoulders onto her back, I gently rubbed circles, while softly humming to her.  
While I rubbed her back, I noticed that even though one arm was tightly clutching her legs, the other arm, her right arm, was completely limp beside her. Without getting too close, I attempted to examine Sayaka's arm.  
Her right wrist was swollen and bruised beyond belief, suggesting that it was broken, while the very end of her forearm seemed to be sitting at a funny angle.  
“Sayaka, what happened to you?”, I whispered.  
She shook her head, implying she didn't want to talk about it. Given that this was probably a fairly recent injury, it made sense she wouldn't want to talk about it.  
She shoved her head into the crook of my neck, whimpering softly as I did all I could to help her without leaving her again.  
“My wrist…”, she whined, through laboured breathing and choked sobs.  
“What's wrong with your wrist? Is it broken?”  
I didn't get an answer, but I already knew it was so it didn't matter.  
“Do you want me to call Mikan?”, For once in my life, I was happy that Gabi filled my phone with contacts. Still keeping my arm wrapped around her shoulders I pulled out my phone and looked for Mikan's number.  
The phone only rang once before she picked it up, and, judging by the loud crack and high pitched yelp, immediately dropped it.  
“I-I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!”, Mikan squeaked.  
Trying to hide my worry I steadied my voice and told her why I'd called her. “Can you come to my dorm? Sayaka's hurt.”  
“Aaaaaa of course! I'll get there as soon as I can!”, With a couple more apologies and the sound of some awkward shuffling, Mikan hung up.  
In the time it took her to get here, I figured I should try to calm Sayaka down enough for Mikan to be able to touch her wrist without having her freak out.  
“Sayaka, Mikan's going to come here and she's going to need to inspect your wrist. Is that okay?”, She gave a weak nod, and curled into my shoulder again. I wrapped my arms around her and told her she was okay, that she was safe.  
I noticed she was shaking, so I grabbed my cardigan off my bed and wrapped her up in it, being careful of her wrist while I did it.  
Eventually, I heard a knock on the door, and I got up to open it. Sayaka came with me, tightly holding my hand while staying behind me.  
I opened the door just a crack, to confirm who the person was without letting them in right away. Upon seeing it was just Mikan, I let her in and quickly closed and re-locked the door behind her.  
I sat Sayaka back down on Gabi's bed, since it was closest to the door, and gently rolled up her sleeve for Mikan to see.  
Without even touching it, Mikan knew right away. “It's definitely broken pretty bad. I-I don't know how much I can do for you. I'm sorry!”  
Sayaka's nails dug into my hand as I contemplated calling an ambulance. The break did look really bad, as it was definitely broken in more than one place. Her pain tolerance did seem to be pretty high however, considering how quiet she was being as Mikan poked and prodded her wrist.  
Mikan awkwardly glanced at me, then at Sayaka, then back to me, and then to the floor. “Should I take my clothes off?”  
“No Mikan, it's okay. I think I might just call an ambulance or something.”, Mikan nodded her head and pulled out her phone. Walking into the bathroom she called the ambulance, once again leaving me with a distressed Sayaka.  
I put my arm back around her shoulder, resuming our original position, while I tried to comfort her again. “You're being so brave Sayaka.”, I cooed. “The ambulance will be here soon, it'll be okay just wait.”  
At the mention of an ambulance, Sayaka's grip immediately tightened as she quickly hid her face in my neck. “I absolutely hate ambulances.”, It was nothing louder than a whisper, but I still heard it. I felt her hot breath on my neck, humid with fear and anxiety.  
“It'll be okay. It's just a short ambulance ride. It'll be over before you know it.”  
“You don't know that.” Sayaka was clearly working herself into a frenzy. Worrying herself over a seemingly irrational fear. I pulled her into a hug, trying to help her calm down, but she immediately bit my neck, causing me to let go and recoil in pain.  
“I'm so sorry! It's a nervous tic.”, She looked embarrassed but my neck still hurt. She was chewing her lip, proving it really was a nervous tic. I put my arms back around her neck, pulling her into my own so I could pet her hair. She went along with it, wrapping her good arm around my back as she carefully shuffled herself closer.  
It didn't take long for the ambulance to arrive, but when I tried to pull Sayaka off me, I realized she was unconscious. She was probably in a lot more pain than she let on. Keeping a level head, I checked for a pulse in her good arm. It was still there, so I had nothing to worry about. When the paramedics walked in, they put Sayaka on a stretcher. They wouldn't let me go to the hospital with her, explaining that she would need to go into surgery right away, and that I wasn't allowed to be there for that, so I stayed in my room and tried to calm myself down.  
Mikan left with the paramedics, seemingly being known by the hospital, and therefore being allowed to go with them.  
After the commotion died down, I resumed what I'd been doing before Sayaka arrived, and went to drink my tea. It was weird to think that only 45 minutes ago I'd been relaxing with Gabi, making some tea. My tea's cold now. And I wonder, where is Gabi?  
I gave up on that question, we'd talk once she came back, for now I needed to calm down. I didn't realize how stressed I'd become from the whole situation until I picked up my tea cup. My hands were shaking.  
Abandoning my tea, I sat down on my bed and pulled out my phone. I started to read my old texts in the class group chat, something I would often do when I'm stressed. That didn't work either, as it just reminded me of the pains my classmates were going through at the moment.  
So I turned to my last resort, tik tok.  
Most people in the school had tik tok, including myself, and watching everyone's tik toks often provided me with a sense of… relief.  
I opened up the app and quickly scrolled through my following feed, looking for someone in the school. The first thing I came across was a duet between two third years. Gabi's gay platonic cuddle buddy, Nagito Komaeda, and a girl who I recognized to be Hiyoko Saionji. Without listening too closely, I could gather that Nagito wanted something from Hiyoko, and Hiyoko was bombarding him with insults. The song was catchy, and the borderline hypnotic bouncing and poses were entertaining, providing for some excellent re-watch value.  
But just like everything else, life goes on, and I looked for the next person I knew. That person ended up being the queen of tik tok herself, Junko Enoshima.  
The tik tok was in her usual style, lip synching while aggressively flaunting her body, with some of her signature “Junko posing” thrown into the mix. The song was nice, and I enjoyed pretty much all her tik toks, so I dropped a like and went on with my search for familliar people.  
The next tik tok was a first year, who I almost skipped because she was just being a Junko kinnie, but because it's tik tok I didn't skip it and even left a like. What can I say, it's fun to watch people Junko pose.  
The very next video was a duet Mikan had done with Junko's tik tok I'd seen earlier. All of Junko's “despair babies” were probably dueting it so I dropped a like to prevent myself being attacked by the mob.  
I was feeling a lot better, so I checked my inbox to see what my notifications were for. Apparently a first year I was friends with, Shuichi Saihara, had tagged me in a tik tok, asking me to duet with him because we were detective gang. I was in a decent enough mood to do tik toks, so I learned his dance, and propped my phone up on the ledge of a mirror to record.  
Shuichi was a nice kid. He was really passionate about being a detective, and I could tell he would go far in the work force. We would eat lunch together when his friend Kaede was off with her girlfriend, and he always provided good conversation. I would give him tips for investigations and such, and he would fan girl a little bit. It was embarrassing at first, but I quickly grew to find it endearing instead.  
“this is for u succi”, was what I put as my caption. I liked being detective gang gang with him.  
Scrolling through more tik toks, and dueting a couple more, I eventually heard the door open. It was Gabi, of course, but she didn't look at me, and instead made a B-line for the bathroom.  
That was strange, she was either upset, or really needed to do some maintenance on herself. I walked up to the door of the bathroom to ask if she was alright, but instead I just stood outside the door, listening.  
She was crying.  
I wanted to ask if she was okay, but I wasn't sure how to. She clearly wasn't anyway, so I raised my fist to the door, and then slowly changed my mind and brought it back down. Instead I sat against the wall and listened to her weep. I'd only seen her cry a handful of times, disregarding when she was just doing it for effect, and each time It'd just been a tear or two, rolling down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away. I didn't want to know why she was crying so hard, but at the same time I wanted to know so I could help. Of course, if tonight was any indication, it seems I'm not very good at helping.  
Eventually she came out. She already knew I was there, so she didn't ask questions about it.  
“I'm going to stay the night with the lesbians if that's cool with you. I need their comfort right now or something.”, I was watching her face as she spoke, but she didn't meet my gaze. Her lip was split, she had a black eye, and I think she was missing a tooth too. Whatever she did to Leon, he probably fought back.  
“Which lesbians? There are about as many lesbians as there are girls so you're going to need to be more specific.”  
“Kaede and Miu. They're usually who I mean when I say the lesbians.”  
“But Tenko…”  
“Tenko's the lesbian, Kaede and Miu are the lesbians, and Tenko and Himiko are the other lesbians.”  
“What about Ibuki and Mikan?”  
“The gays.”  
“Chiaki?”  
“Gaymer girl.”  
“Celeste.”  
“Stupid hot gambler bitch.”  
“Wow, she doesn't even get her sexuality in her name huh.”  
“Too hot for that.”  
Gabi reached out a hand to pull me up. I took it and stood up, using the wall to help more than her hand.  
“Sorry I'm leaving you here. I kind of forced Sayaka on you and you're probably all sad now. I just need to stay out of our room y'know?”, I understood, but it still left me feeling a little upset.  
“It's cool. I get it.”  
She pulled me into a hug. One arm on my back, the other stroking my hair. Her nose in my neck. I took the opportunity to cuddle, I'd really missed that from her. With my arms around her waist and my nose in her hair, we stood together for what felt like only a few seconds, but was probably a lot longer.  
“I'm sorry Kyoko.”  
“It's okay, you need to take care of yourself too sometimes.”, Gabi had always been bad for putting others before herself. She'd always joke about stabbing people for her friends sake, but today it was proven to be true. Another thing proven by today is that she would go through great lengths to protect her friends, but would get herself hurt in the process. I pulled her a little closer to me. I didn't want her to get hurt again.  
Eventually we pulled away and she went off to Kaede and Miu's dorms leaving me alone again. I sat back down in my bed, not fully knowing what to do, resulting in my staring at the ceiling, completely spacing out.  
I should eat something. But I don't want to make food.  
I could watch more tik toks. If Sayaka's tik toks pop up I'm going to feel worse.  
I could read a little. I don't feel like reading.  
Maybe I'll just go to sleep.  
Slowly getting up, my mind feeling hazy, I undressed and got back into bed. Suddenly the fog in my mind blew away and everything felt far too real.  
Sayaka was hurt.  
Leon hurt Sayaka.  
I couldn't help.  
Or maybe I could and I just didn't because I'm a useless fucking idiot who's so detached from her own emotions she doesn't know how to deal with other people's.  
Suddenly I felt like crying. Tears started to build up as my vision went blurry. I closed my eyes and felt the hot liquid run down my face. I knew if I were Gabi I'd just laugh about it and break into song, while forcefully making my voice crack for comedic effect.  
How was it that Gabi had so many friends yet she liked me enough to chose me as her roommate? She had lots of options, in fact, when we were picking roommates she was the first person to pick hers. She could have picked anyone else.  
She liked Junko back then, and they were friends so she could have chosen her. She was close with Sayaka, and she could have chosen her. She could have chosen Toko, or Hina, or even Celeste, but for whatever reason she chose me.  
Maybe it was out of pity. In our first year I didn't really have any friends, mostly of my own volition, so I probably would have been the person who had to room alone if not for her.  
Dwelling on the friends thing I realized I only had the amount of friends I did thanks to her. Sure, I became friends with Celeste because we sit next to each other and eat lunch together at least once a week, but that friendship only happened recently.  
She was too good for me.  
Thinking those last thoughts, I slowly drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep, only to be awoken the next morning at noon by my own growling stomach. I should have eaten last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Leon broke Sayaka"s wrist because I'm referencing the game. Yes all the tik toks Kyoko's talking about are real.


	10. Kyoko Kirigiri and a Hospital Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko's moping around in her room when Gabi suggests she visit Sayaka in the hospital.
> 
> Stuff happens. Kyoko meets Junko in the halls where she acts like a fucking crackhead, and many many things are revealed in the hospital visit with Sayaka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so delayed, I started up a self insert story on wattpad. Feel free to follow me, this story is there too. My account is @livingtrash01

I'd been moping around my room for two days after what happened to Sayaka. I'd gone to class of course, but I hadn't eaten meals in the dining hall, and I'd spent all my free time sitting in my room, doing whatever to pass the time.

Originally, the plan was to spend the next few days like that too, until Sayaka came back, but my plans were changed with the arrival of my roommate.

Casually opening the door and sitting next to me on my bed, she looked at me with something akin to pity, but not as offensive. Stroking my hair, she showed some concern for my well-being.

Since her fight with Leon, she'd gained a black eye, a broken nose, a split lip, some other scrapes and bruises all over her body, and even a missing tooth, which all seemed to be healing fine, but left her looking pretty rough around the edges.

“Where have you been the past couple days? People are worrying about you.”, she made it sound like I'd completely closed myself off from the world. I still went to class, no one had any reason to worry.

“I've just been here. I'm fine.”, I was lying down, so I put my head on her lap.

“That's not why you're here though.”, Gabi said, seemingly knowing more than she let on. “Is it, Kyoko?”

With a playful huff, I let myself open up to her, as I'd done a million times before.  
“I'm just upset I couldn't help Sayaka again. I just froze up and didn't help her like I feel I should have.”

“Yeah I totally get that. Helping people you don't know very well, when they're vulnerable and hurt can be really hard, especially when you think you need to be perfect and be their saviour.”, Gabi replied, understanding as always.

“But it's not just that I wasn't perfect.”, I continued, “It's that the one time she really needed me, I was too out of it to help.”

She started softly stroking my hair again, before offering a suggestion. “Maybe you should visit her in the hospital? She's taking visitors and I think she'd like to see you.”

That sounded like a good idea. It was a little late now, but a good plan for tomorrow for sure. I curled up in Gabi's lap and thanked her, telling her I'd visit Sayaka tomorrow. She texted me the address and got up to get undressed, only to crawl back into my bed and remind me to take off my bra as not to crush my ribs.

The next day I woke up cradled in her arms, the soft sunlight peeking through the blinds. Today would be a good day, I could feel it.

Before getting up I let myself relax in my best friends arms for a few more minutes, but eventually decided to dress myself, and leave a note on the nightstand telling her I was off to see Sayaka.

It was fairly early in the morning, not a time any high schooler would be up at on the weekend, so I wasn't expecting to bump into anyone in the halls. Of course, I was surprised when Junko popped out from behind a corner, startling me slightly.

“Hey Kyoko! Are you going somewhere? If so can I borrow your room key? Pleeeaaaaseeee!”, Junko pleaded, making me less inclined to help her.

“What do you need my room key for?”, I asked.

“Because I'm a lil babey who needs cuddles! Cuddles and kissies for my baby girl! Y’know? Baby needs a kiss and some cummies! Baby wants a cuddle! I wuuuuuv my girlfriend!”, she said, talking in an overly cutesy voice, making me react almost viscerally.

“Okay, that's a little TMI, just take my key.”, I handed her my key, hoping she would never do that again.

“Oh are you going to see Sayaka today? Tell her I say hi! And that I'm gonna visit her tomorrow!”, Junko said, walking backwards, almost walking right into one of the first years, on her way to get something from the dining hall.  
With an exasperated sigh, I left the school, and caught the train to the hospital Sayaka was in. It would take a couple hours to get there, as she'd been moved to a different hospital for a better surgeon, so I figured it wasn't too bad that I'd woken up to leave at 8.

The train ride was long, and I nearly fell asleep, but the pretty scenery kept me awake long enough that I didn't miss my stop. With school having begun a while ago, the last traces if summer disappeared, and I found myself shivering, more and more. Fall was quickly approaching, and the leaves were falling off the trees, one by one, until they would soon be naked, left to bear the harsh cold of the winter alone. In the meantime, the colours were beautiful.

By the time I reached my stop, it was almost 10:30, so I quickened my pace, eyes set on the little red marker on google maps acting as Sayaka's hospital.

It wasn't a very long walk to the hospital, and the exercise would probably do me some good, so I got there a little later than I could have, at around 11:15.

The hospital was tall and mostly white, with a large sign on the front. I walked in, my eyes quickly being assaulted by the bright lights and perfectly white floors. As I stood in line to talk to the receptionist, I momentarily considered rubbing hand sanitizer on my gloves, but decided against it as they wouldn't be able to absorb it.

Eventually, I got to the front of the line. The receptionist seemed like a nice enough lady, but she was too talkative and it was a little off-putting.

“Hey there hun, what can I do fir ya?”, she spoke like a kind aunt, and it was a little intimidating, given that I didn't really like any of my aunts.

“Um I'm here to visit Sayaka Maizono.”, I muttered, sounding more shy and awkward than I meant to.

“Oh Sayaka Maizono eh? Isn't it neat that an idol's stayin here? My daughter's around your age, and she really likes her, she calls herself a 'Sayaker' or somethin awful cute like that. Oh! And once, when she went to a concert of hers, Sayaka even signed her shirt! Isn't that just the nicest thing?”, The receptionist rambled. Yes ma'am, I know Sayaka's very nice to her fans, can I please just visit her already.

“Oh but how do you know Miss Maizono? You're not just an obsessed fan are you?”

“No ma'am, we go to Hope's Peak together.”

“Oh Hope's Peak! I know that school! Isn't that the one for the really gifted students? Oh it's always been a dream of mine to have one of my kids go there, your parents must be so proud!”

“Yeah, they're real proud.”, Will she ever stop talking oh my god.

“Oh well you can be on your way now, she's in room C7, door doesn't lock but you should knock first.”

“Thank you ma'am.”, and with that, I was finally able to get away from the chatty receptionist.

I took the elevator to the third floor, walked down the halls until I reached C7. Raising my hand to knock on the door, I started to feel a little unsure. What if she didn't want to see me? What if she was mad? Maybe I ended up hurting her indirectly. Shoving these thoughts out of my mind, I knocked, three distinct taps, on her door.

I hope this is the right room.

“Come in!”, A melodious voice that I immediately recognized to be Sayaka's proved that I really was at the right room, so I slowly opened the door, and found myself seeing something very beautiful, and somehow very familiar.

The room was full of flowers, the vase on her bedside table being absolutely full, and various other vases piled around next to her. A couple people had brought her cactuses and succulents, and some more brought her potted plants. Someone brought her some basil as well.

The room itself wasn't very exceptional, just a normal hospital room, with the windows open, blowing the curtains and flowers around, making things feel a little more dramatic.

Sayaka herself was situated in the middle of the room in her bed, headboard against the left-hand wall. She had a bulky plaster cast on her right hand, stretching from her palm and cutting of just below her elbow. It looked like it made it hard to do much of anything, especially since she had the bad luck of it being on her dominant hand. Despite her injury having taken place only a couple days ago, she had nearly two dozen signatures on her cast. I kind of wanted to add one.

“The sharpies are on the table, in the drawer with the spider plant coming out of it.”, Sayaka said, seemingly having read my mind.

“Oh thanks, how did you know I wanted to sign your cast?”, I asked, the slightest bit curious.

“Oh because I'm psychic! Just kidding, I actually just have really good intuition.”, she joked, clarifying before I could go off on her.

I found a sharpie quickly being taken over by a spider plant, and managed to pull it out without breaking any of the vines. I walked over to Sayaka, who held up her arm for me while I tried to find a blank space for me to write on.

Deciding on a simple “Get better soon -Kyoko”, I put the sharpie back on the plant as Sayaka started talking to me.

“Come, sit with me, tell me about your life. Did you have to talk to the chatty receptionist?”, Sayaka started up some conversation as I sat next to her on her bed as she'd instructed.

“Yeah, she was really excited that I went to Hope's Peak with you.”, I replied, calling back my memory of the stressful encounter.

“Everyone who's come to see me has told me something about having to talk to her. When my Idol Group showed up to visit me she took pictures of all of them to send to her daughter. Oh, did she tell you about her daughter or her dog? It seems like it's always one or the other.”, Sayaka said, leaning against me.

“She told me about her daughter.”, I replied, leaning into her a little. “Is it true she went to one of your concerts?”

Sayaka blushed awkwardly, seemingly embarrassed. “She probably did, but to be honest I have a lot of fans and I don't remember them all, so I can't recall who she was exactly.”

“Seems reasonable.”, even though Sayaka truly loved her fans, even with the best of memories there was no way she would be able to remember them all.

I told Sayaka about the receptionist, as she compared my experience to those of her other friends. We talked for a long time, until eventually I remembered the other person I'd seen today.

“Oh, on my way here I saw Junko.”, I informed Sayaka, trying to segue into our weird one sided TMI conversation, but instead getting cut off by Sayaka happily grinning.

“Really? What did she say? How's she doing?”, Sayaka beamed at me, clearly being overjoyed at getting to talk about her friend.

They were just friends. Right?

“Um yeah she said she was going to come see you tomorrow.”, I replied as she bounced up and down, loving the thought of seeing Junko.

“That's awesome! I was just thinking about how I wanted to see her! The universe is really spoiling me today.”, Sayaka was staring off into space, dorky smile stretched across her lips. I don't think I've ever seen her so genuinely happy. This was probably her real smile, and not the one she put on for cameras.

Sayaka leaned onto my shoulder with a happy sigh. “Hey Kyoko, you're really good for confiding in. Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“Promise you won't tell anyone?”

I was pretty good with secrets, and I was very interested in what Sayaka wanted to tell me, so I promised.

“Promise.”

Sayaka took a deep breath and closed her eyes. For a moment she looked so perfectly serene, the memory of what happened to her almost completely left my mind. “I have a crush on Junko.”

Sayaka looked out her window, and went on about her crush. “I've liked her for a long time to be honest. Like since before she started dating Gabi. It used to be really little, like how everyone just kind of wants to kiss her. But eventually, my feelings for her started to grow and I think that's when Leon started to notice.”

“Leon noticed?”, this conversation was actually starting to get a little worrying. Not only could this break my best friend's heart if she acted on her crush, but it somehow seemed to badly hurt Sayaka.

“Mm, yeah.”, Sayaka replied, nodding her head and furrowing her eyebrows. She stroked her cast before continuing. “You have to trust me when I say me and Leon weren't doing well for a while. With his band taking off, he was cheating on me with just about any girl who tried. We weren't really feeling much for each other in the way of love, and I was getting jealous of how much attention he was getting from girls and junk so we started getting a little snappy at each other. With time we started getting into full blown fights, and I probably went a little too far more than a couple times. And you know the rest I guess.”

I stroked Sayaka's hair. It was nice that I had some more insight on the Leon situation, but the conversation was getting a little uncomfortably heavy.

“So, Junko eh?”

Sayaka giggled and nudged me with her elbow. “Don't kid yourself Kyoko. We both know you have a thing for Gabi.”

I was actually just getting over that, but it was strange that she knew about it, given I'd never told anyone. “How did you know?”

“Oh please!”, Sayaka said, still laughing slightly. “It's so obvious! You look at her the way I look at Junko, and I know that look well.”

She did say she had good intuition.

“Look at us, crushing on two people who are dating each other. Well, if they break up you get Gabi, I'll get Junko.”, Sayaka laughed, kind of an awkward thing to joke about. I didn't want Gabi to break up with Junko. They made each other happy, and I didn't want to take that from them.

“I'm kidding.” Sayaka looked down at her blanket, playing with the hem a little bit. I had a feeling she felt the same way I did surrounding her crush. “It'd be nice though.”

Sayaka and I talked back and forth for a while about crushes, until eventually the conversation died, and she lay her head on my shoulder, peacefully massaging my hand as she did.

Time passed and eventually she tried to revive the conversation. “Did you know I can play the guitar?”

“No. What kind?”

“I can only play acoustic, I've never tried anything else.”, Sayaka gulped a little, before continuing. “I was teaching Leon how to play. I used to look forward to it, but after a while our little lessons became less opportunity for bonding, and more just fights in waiting.”

I held one of her hands without lacing our fingers together. All this talk about Leon was making me think he had somehow rooted himself in her mind. “When did you learn how to play?”

“When I was little. I told my dad I wanted to be an idol so he came home one day with a guitar, I guess so I could start writing music. Anyways, since he was never home I had a lot of time and YouTube tutorials at my disposal.”, Sayaka didn't really seem to enjoy telling me this story.

“I'm suddenly feeling very tired, can I sleep on your lap? You can wake me up whenever.”, Sayaka asked, catching me off guard a little.

It wasn't like I had anything else to do today, and it was the least I could do to help her. “Go ahead.”

Sayaka curled up on my lap, covering herself with hospital blankets. She passed me the remote for the TV before trying to fall asleep.

I stroked her hair, turning on the TV and looking for something to watch. I almost didn't hear her over the sound of Ellen DeGeneres, but right before she drifted off she mumbled something under her breath.

“Thanks for listening to me Kyoko… you're a good… listener…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sayaka... is going through some stuff. Im sorry Sayaka fans, shit isn't going to get better for her for a while...


	11. Sayaka Maizono Catches The Big Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayaka gets a visit from Junko at the hospital and shit goes awry. But like don't worry, she gets to watch Heathers at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in my mind, I like to imagine that Sayaka's thinking so much, so fast because she's spent to much time alone because that happens to me like all the time

I woke up the next morning wearing Kyoko's cardigan. I'd put it on after she left and apparently fallen asleep in it too. Since I'd worn it after the night of the incident it still brought me some comfort. I had been sleeping in it for the past couple of days. Kyoko's scent was still on it, and she was basically synonymous with safety.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to force myself awake and remember if I was expecting anyone today. I nearly jumped when I remembered Junko was coming. Jesus Christ, I was so looking forward to seeing her. I checked the time on my phone and noticed I had new messages from Junko. She said she'd be there around noon, and that she was bringing me flowers. Because I definitely need more flowers.

There wasn't a lot to do in a hospital, so I'd been singing pretty much non-stop while I was here. I started humming while taking off my stolen sweater and going to the bathroom. I wish I’d had the foresight to have stolen some of Kyoko’s makeup before I’d left, but of course I was kind of in hysterics and unconscious. Well, I could always just ask my dad to bring me my makeup. It’ll get here like, three weeks after I ask but I should ask anyways. I sent my dad a quick text while brushing my teeth. Multitasking, my dudes.

For a hospital bathroom, it was actually pretty nice. The room was shaped like a rectangle, and had a bath and shower head on the end furthest from the door, and a mirror and a toilet directly across from the bath. It was white and sterile looking as a hospital usually is, but with all of my acquired plants it was looking a little friendlier.

Texting my dad one handed, and with my floppy arm actually took longer than brushing my teeth, so I just finished my message with my left hand. You know, it would be really useful if past Sayaka had realized it might be a bad idea to have to depend on one hand for everything. It would also have been nice if past Sayaka didn’t aggravate her boyfriend into crushing her wrist like a can of panta. Okay present Sayaka, maybe don’t blame yourself for your ex’s poor anger management. That’s unhealthy.

I finished bathroom-ing and went back to my bed to figure out what to do while I waited for Junko to come. Again, there wasn’t a lot to do in a hospital. I took a quick look at all of my plants. I can’t believe Susan gave me basil. I plucked a leaf off and put it in my mouth. It would have been a lot nicer if it were mint but we’ve got to make do.

My hospital room itself was pretty decked out, with a tv and everything! My bed and bedside table were on the left side of the room, facing the bathroom door and the tv. The wall facing the door to the room held a nice big window that I'd asked the nurse to open three days ago but never closed, given that she walked away and I was on bed rest until today.

I knew I couldn’t open my phone because I would immediately start feeding my tik tok addiction. Hm… but if it’s the only thing to do here then it can’t hurt to make tik toks for what… three hours? I checked the time again. Yep, it was just barely 9:30. If only Junko wasn’t always fashionably late. Anyways, tik toks couldn’t hurt. I opened the app, and before letting myself get distracted I opened up my camera and realized I looked like a drowned sewer rat. Well, we have to fix that.

I got off my bed and walked back to the bathroom. When my Idol Group came over they raided my house before hand and brought me my toiletries. I love them. I got to the shower, and put on my cast cover. It was inconvenient, but not as inconvenient as a moldy cast I guess. I undressed myself, turned on the water, and got into the shower. I started singing, as one does, and I heard my voice begin to fill the small and rather cramped bathroom.

“Stood proud and tall and watch my dreams as they’ve flown, even though it is clear that I can walk home all alone.”

I personally have a strict policy of not singing my Idol songs for no reason. If it’s not a concert, I’m not practicing, or I’m not just in public looking for attention, I try to make a point of singing other people’s songs. I tell people it’s to expand my vocal range, but secretly it’s because I don’t want random people who hear me to be able to say shit like “Being friends with a pop star is amazing because you get free front row tickets to private concerts whenever they start singing XD”, Because fuck you, you’re going to pay full price for front row tickets AND stop bragging about me. Jesus Christ Christina we’ve had one (1) sleepover together when we were like, 7, and stopped talking in fifth grade. Just because I let you borrow my pencil yesterday doesn’t mean we’re best friends again.

“Guess in the end when it’s just me, I get tense, maybe then that’s because you’re not here with me I guess.”

See, that’s why when Junko and Gabi aren’t around I really love hanging out with Makoto, because even though he knows I’m kind of a big deal, he’s really chill about it. Not that I dislike my fans, it’s just the people who use my name for clout that irk me.

“It’s not fair to compare us, I hate each and every bit of you. Don’t know where I’m headed to.”

Well, Makoto was actually a little weird about it in junior high, but that was more of a social hierarchy thing that anything. At least that’s what I want it to be. I hope it was just a hierarchy thing.

When I finished my shower, I dried myself off as best as I could, one -handed, and got back into my hospital gown. I wish I had something else to wear. Maybe a onesie or something? Whatever, I’ll be released soon enough.

Flopping back onto my bed, I had to decide what to do with my time. I knew I couldn’t give in to my primal urge to make tik toks, although the urge was powerful. I could name all my plants? I think I’ve already done that. I walked around my tiny room, looking for something I could do.

I’d actually been kind of bed bound for the last few days, so I only now felt good enough to go around looking at stuff. A nurse had opened my window a couple days ago, and I’d never gotten the chance to close it, so I finally took care of that.

The room wasn’t as cold anymore, but I was still lacking ideas on how to spend my time, so I continued singing, and rather dramatically to be honest.

“Side by side you’re asking “Had enough?” I’m taking little breaths of air although it’s kind of tough.”

After a dramatic and amazing reproduction of various musicals, the Panic! At The Disco concert I went to when I was twelve, and just about the entirety of my 8th grade Romeo and Juliet play put on by my school, I finally decided now was a good time to lie down on my bed and blast the Heathers soundtrack while crying because girls are just so pretty.

Of course, I never actually got to do that since after barely even half way through Beautiful, somebody called a nurse because they thought I was having a mental breakdown. I guess in a way I was, but I’d call it more of A Moment.

I had the pleasure of explaining to Mikan for the eight time this week that no, I was okay, and that she didn’t need to worry about me, but despite my words, she stuck around and hung out with me for a while.

It was nice to have someone to talk to. Being an excessive extrovert I get lonely really quickly, and the lack of visitors before noon wasn’t helping. Because of my being alone for almost twelve hours Mikan got to hear everything I remembered about glass blowing, just off the top of my head. Sometime between telling her about how the punty works and how I don't like watching people make wine glasses she managed to slip out without me noticing. Oops.

I checked my phone again, just to check the time and do some quick math to see when Junko would be here. Holy shit I really spent three hours on Heathers and Be More Chill?? Jesus Christ, I'm fucking great at this. So just another half an hour or so?

So what to do for the next half hour… well I've already done basically everything there is to do so why not just sit here and twiddle my thumbs? Ow, fuck, my wrist. Nice to know that still hurt like hell. I was really hoping for my wrist to make a cool crackly noise when it healed, when my door was slammed open.

“Hey Girl! What the fuck is up!!?!?!?!!!”, Junko cried. It would have been pretty cringy if it were anyone other than her saying it, but she's beautiful and amazing at everything she does so it's okay.

“Junko!”, jumping up from my bed we greeted each other enthusiastically. Junko immediately slung her arms around my neck and pulled me into her own. “How you doing baby? I haven't seen you since the night you got hurt, how are you holding up?”

Junko pulled me away from her neck to get a better look at me. Her eyes immediately filled with pity as she brushed her thumb against my cheek. Pity was such a strange thing. People will hand it out like an informational pamphlet but if you get it from someone else it's a whole different story. Some people hate it no matter who it comes from, sometimes it's only bad if it's from someone you don't want pitying you. Personally, it depends who's pitying me. If it were an adult I didn't want to see me upset it would be the worst feeling in the world, but since it's Junko I'm happy. It's nice to know she cares.

“I've been okay I guess. It still hurts sometimes but I'm okay. The mental scarring is a different issue but I think I'll get over it.”, I mumbled a little bit as I spoke. I hadn't really processed what had happened to me yet. It all just felt too surreal. Like it was actually some other couple with a bad track record who got into a fight. Not me. Not Leon. It was like when you're reading an especially bad story and elements just keep being added so eventually you just have to go “well I guess there are dinosaurs now.” And just move on with the story. You don't go off about how there was no prior mention of this being possible because you're already too tired from the last weird thing that happened.

“Here.”, Junko shoved a bouquet of blue flowers in my direction. “They're lilies. I think you said something in our first year about really liking them.”, She was right. Lilies are my favourite. I accepted them gratefully and put them in the vase on my bedside table. I sat down on my bed and for a moment Junko joined me. Her lips had looked so soft. But before I knew it she was hopping right back up and twirling over to the windowsill where she opened up the windows again and sat down.

She looked angelic, perched there on the windowsill. She was leaning back with her legs crossed, back to the sunlight. The sun made her hair glow and it looked a little like a halo. She always looked angelic, in my eyes at least. Honestly, to say Junko was pretty would be a hell of an understatement. It's like calling Teruteru's cooking good. Or my singing nice. Or Kokichi annoying. It was just too weak of a word. That being said, beautiful didn't work either. Pretty was kind of a universal feeling. A girl could be pretty, a woman could be pretty, a boy could be pretty, even a cat could be pretty. Pretty was pure, a sort of childish beauty that made you look young and carefree, desirable, the kind of person sad lesbians on tumblr want to adopt. Beautiful felt more mature. A beautiful woman would be elegant, while a pretty woman could just look like she was trying her best. It's hard describing Junko. She's pretty, she's beautiful, she's sexy, she's downright gorgeous most of the time, but the kind of beauty she held in that moment was impossible to capture with words. Maybe angelic? Pretty and angelic. Pretty turned up to eleven crossed with angelic. But the pretty isn't too saturated, you know? Looking at her I felt like I might have a gay heart attack. A bisexual stroke. A homoromantic seizure. A Sapphic aneurysm. A lesbian reason to call the nurses into my room again.

“So how'd the surgery go?”, Junko asked, snapping me out of my stupor.

“It was okay. I slept for a long time after it was over so I don't really remember what it was like waking up after anesthetics. The scar looks so fucking wacky though. I can feel many years of people thinking I tried to slit my wrists coming.”, I replied, already knowing my prediction was going to be spot on. I can already see it, I'm sitting at a panel, accidentally opening up a little too much when my sleeve rides up just enough for everyone to see the long scar going down my forearm where the doctors peeled open my skin to rearrange my bones. Of course, no one would know that was why it was there, and then there would be rumors flying everywhere of how I was a cutter, or I tried to kill myself. So many variations, some closer to the truth others further. Because my boyfriend broke up with me! Because my dad had cancer! Because my idol group wanted to kick me out! Because my nudes were leaked! Because I knew I was gay! Sayaka set a fire and she burned down the house!

“Yeah, and that's when Mukuro said she wanted to play LEGO BATMAN 2 INSTEAD OF MINECRAFT FUCKING STORY MODE!!! Like who the hell does she think she is?? Like what the fuck even. No. Fucking no. Dumb bitch. So how's your family?”

Oh shit what. Better come up with something to say uh-

“Oh you know how it is. Dad's always at work, but I don't really see him much because of school and stuff. I think he went to my last concert though, so that's a real improvement.”, As much as I love talking to people, small talk was never really my thing. It's like you're just buttering me up to talk about something else. And of course, Junko wants to talk about something else.

She shifted in her little perch on the windowsill, uncrossing her legs and suddenly looking like she doesn't know what to do with them. “So uh, how's the hospital?”, Junko, baby, please, just get to the point.

“Oh you know, white, sterile, smells strongly of flowers and antibiotics. The works. Didn't you spend a bunch of time in a hospital in like, junior high or something?”, I responded, trying to figure out what she wants to ask me about. The legs uncrossing… I think that means she's uncomfortable. But I didn't do anything to make her uncomfortable so that must mean… she's horny? No, if she was horny she'd have re-crossed her legs by now.

“Yeah actually! I back flipped off the top of my roof to prove something to Mukuro and cracked my head open on the concrete below! Somehow I didn't like, die or anything, but I had really wack memory loss for like,, six, seven months I think? Anyway, Matsuda took care of me then, since he was doing his first year at Hope's Peak and stuff. Jeez I'm kind of happy I don't see him anymore. It hurts but like, in a good way? I don't know, breakups are hard to describe. You broke up with Leon right?”, There was something about the look in her eyes. Like she was eagerly waiting for me to answer, but didn't want it to show. This was definitely what she wanted to talk about. But why?

“Yeah, obviously. Well, I say that but it actually took a couple days for me to do it. I have never gotten so much hate from fourteen year old girls in my life. They're a scary bunch, I tell ya.”, I dodged the topic of him, mostly to see how she would react, but also deep down because I didn't really want to talk about it. Not that I wanted to admit that to anyone.

She clambered down from the windowsill, closing the windows and joining me on my bed. Her face was close, and I could feel her nails brushing my hair off my cheek. “Were you scared?”

This was it. The reason she was sitting like that, the mention of exes, her need to know if I'd broken up with Leon, all her body language, topic selection, the reason she'd been so touchy. She liked me. Slowly, I leaned in, and closed the already small gap between us. This was what she wanted.

But I could immediately tell that she didn't want this. It wasn't the way she recoiled, or pulled her hand off my cheek. It wasn’t the way she got up and moved back to the windowsill. It wasn’t the mix of confusion and betrayal on her face. It was my own immediate regret. It wasn't what she wanted. It was what I wanted.

“What… was that..?”, She asked.

“I-I'm sorry… I um, I don't know, I guess I read the situation wrong.”, my face felt hot and my throat felt tight. I seriously fucked up just then. Shit how do I even come back from this. “I just thought, since you made sure I broke up with Leon… I don't know. I'm so fucking stupid.”

“No, no no no Sayaka that's not it honey, I asked to make sure you were okay, I wasn’t trying to… oh god sweetheart don't be sad.”, Of course she was just making sure.

“Yeah, of course. Of fucking course. Why would you have been flirting with me? Who the FUCK would want to flirt with ME?? I'm such a fucking idiot Junko. I'm such a fucking idiot. I think just because I want it to happen bad enough it'll work out. Why couldn’t I just fucking realize, not everything is about me? Why couldn't I realize before I did that? Why did I have to go and fuck everything up?”, I could feel the tears building up, threatening to spill, and I could feel the stabbing pain in my wrist from clutching the blanket too hard.

“Oh god baby, he really hurt you didn't he?”, she said, getting off the windowsill and walking back over to me on my bed. She sat right in front of me and pulled me into her chest. Not boobs chest, but like, chest chest. She stroked my hair as I cried into her collarbone, angry at myself for being such a blithering dumbass, angry at Junko for allowing me to misread all that, angry at the world for making all this stupid shit happen to me. Junko continued stroking my hair, and holding me close to her chest so that I could hear her heart beat and remember that no matter how fucked up I was and how stuck in my thoughts I felt she was still there and time kept on moving, even if I felt like I froze it. “I know you feel lonely, and you miss the cuddles and the kisses and the 'I love yous' but you can't just go acting on your urges to kiss the first girl you see, okay? It's just going to make it hurt more. And it probably feels like nothing in the world could ever hurt more than this and that it'll never end but trust me baby, it gets better, and you'll feel better, if not soon, then some day when we don't even remember this and high school feels like a weird dream that you don't really remember either.”, she cooed. Honestly I didn't know she was capable of being this nice, of trying so much to help. I wrapped my arms around her waist and cried more, until little by little I ran out of tears. I didn't care that she wasn't completely right on how I felt. Or more, I did care just not enough to correct her. “And besides, I'm already dating someone.”

“Yeah and we both know how much you love sticking to one person.”, I sniffled and hiccupped, my head throbbing from my sudden dehydration.

“Hey weren't you the one lecturing me on the importance if monogamy like, last month?”, She laughed, wiping my tears off my face with little luck, considering my face was so wet it was more like she was just smearing the tears around.

“Yeah, but that's just because I wanted you to be happy.”, I replied, not really wanting to think of it, due to how badly I'd just been rejected.

“You're sweet Sayaka. Let me get you some water, for all the crying and junk.”, she got off the bed and went to the bathroom, using the plastic ikea cup Mikan gave me to better rinse my mouth.

I drank it in little sips due to my chest still heaving and not wanting to choke on water and start crying again. I handed it back to Junko and she pat my head.

She went back to the bathroom for a second only to come back with a couple squares of toilet paper to start drying my face. She softly dabbed the paper along my cheeks, making sure she didn't accidentally hurt me. When she finished she gave the top of my head a small kiss and pulled me in for a quick hug.

“Does this change anything between us?”, I asked, afraid of the damage of what I'd done.

“No love, you'll always be my best friend, no matter how many times you awkwardly kiss me.”, She laughed, and I started to laugh too. Is it just me or is it easier to laugh right after you've been crying? Either way it always felt like a huge relief. “Let's watch some bootleg musicals”

We spent the rest of the afternoon curled under my blanket while Junko yelled obscenities at Veronica Sawyer for not living out her weird ChanSaw daydreams. What a life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU concpet: Junko Enoshima, The Ultimate Tik Tok Star. Known for aggressively shipping ChanSaw, and almost beating Christian Slater to death.

**Author's Note:**

> I should mention that I wrote this when I had a fever, and couldn't remember writing it the next morning. Its pretty weird ik


End file.
